


Thank God He's A Country Boy

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Kane (Band), Smallville RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-23
Updated: 2010-08-07
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:49:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8675167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: ** Fixed the title, someone was 'kind' enough to let me know I spelled it County instead of Country.... but hey, since no-one else commented on it I doubt it'll make a big difference ;p.Seven years ago business man Jared left the place where he grew up because he didn't want to be a small town boy. He felt he was meant for greater things and left his life and love behind.Now it's time to go back to his roots but not everything is the same as he left it.... and neither is the boyfriend he left behind all those years ago.After Jared left him it seemed like his life was over, but he crawled back up and got his life back. Now Jared is back in town and there's no place to hide.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Yes, I know what you're thingking. another story!. I just... I read this story about bullriding Jared and Jensen (this is NOTHING like that thought) and I really wanted to write some delicious Cowboy!porn....  
>  well, that turned into angst and my fingers were just flyin over the keyboard.
> 
> I'm also aware that I tend to use the same names in my stories (mostly CW people) but that's just because I want you guys to be able to really picture this person when you're reading the story.
> 
> so here it is

  
Author's notes: So this is the first chapter of my new story. I promiss not to let my other stories hang, I HATE authors who abandan a fic and I would NEVER do that to my readers, so if you start reading one of my stories you can bet your life on it that I'll finish it. (and usually in a timely fashion too. won't make you wait for weeks for another chapter :D, mostly ;p)  


* * *

Chapter 1: 

 

 

Jared slammed the door of his shiny Escalade and popped the trunk to get their bags “How quaint” Genevieve muttered sarcastically as she looked at the house in front of them.

 

The trunk slammed closed and Jared placed their luggage on the ground “it's not really what we're used to, is it” and he stared at the house he grew up in.

 

Genevieve scrunched her nose “really Jared” she complained “we have three weeks off and you choose to spend it here.... on a farm” and she snorted “I know you grew up here but.... cows, Jared, seriously?”

 

The tall man stood back and watched the house, the house that held so many happy memories, the house.... and the people he had left behind seven years ago and he felt a pang of guilt and pain in his chest.

 

“I haven't been back here in seven years Genevieve” He said and he took their bags in his hands “I know you'd rather be in Martha's Vineyard but the previous year’s my parents have come to visit me, this time they wanted me to come here.... and don't you want to meet them”.

 

He carried their bags to the porch and set them down, he wiped the moisture from his brow, the Texas sun beating down mercilessly at this time of year and he sighed as his expensive suit clung to his body.

 

“Oh, my baby” A short woman emerged from the house, the screen door slamming shut behind her as she threw herself in Jared's arms “oh, sweetheart, it's so good to have you home” and she laved his face with kisses as she clasped her hands on his shoulders.

 

Jared's arms wrapped around her, slightly embarrassed from the display of affection “hey, momma” he muttered and kissed her cheek “it's good to be here” and he looked around the yard that was fenced in by paddocks and a large barn “hasn't changed a bit”.

 

She chuckled and pinched his cheek “oh” she sighed “baby, it's so good to have you here” and she hugged him again, almost unable to let go of the son that hadn't been home for about seven years “your daddy'll be so darn happy to see you baby”.

 

Jared smiled at the thick drawl of her voice, his momma was a born and bred Texan and a bonafide cowgirl from the day she was born, so were his daddy and his brother Jeff.

 

He and Megan were the only ones that hadn’t been happy with the life they were leading and when he finished High School at 19 he got out of that dusty old town as fast as he could.

 

Jared had gone to college, leaving everything in Harmony, Texas behind, including his parents and all his friends.

 

He had wanted to see the world, he wanted to see all that was out there so he'd gotten a full ride to Yale and he'd drove out of town not once looking back.

 

Now he was the CEO of a large company and he had everything he ever wanted, a great job that paid fantastically, nice house, cars and a gorgeous girlfriend, everything a man could ever want and everything he'd never had when he lived in Harmony.

 

Genevieve cleared her throat and Jared blushed having gotten lost in his musings had made him forget she was even there and he held out his hand for her to grab “momma” he said smiling “I'd like you to meet Genevieve... my girlfriend, Genevieve, this is my mother, Sherry Padalecki”.

 

Sherry's eyebrows shot up to meet her hairline and she frowned “girlfriend?” she asked confused as she looked at the girl standing next to her son “but...” and she trailed off as Genevieve grabbed her hand and shook it “nice to meet you Mrs. Padalecki” she said “Jared's told me a lot about you”.

 

The older woman pasted a smile on her face as fake as Genevieve's nails and shook the girls hand “it's uhm, nice to meet you too, dear” she replied and send a questioning look in her son's direction.

 

Then she tried to concentrate on more important things “Darlin', how bout you go throw your bags in your room and I'll make us some coffee” she smiled and looked out over the vast paddocks of the farm “your daddy and the boys will be back in an hour for lunch, let’s make sure they don't starve”.

 

Jared nodded and lifted the bags “can I freshen up a bit” Genevieve asked as she followed them into the house “we've been driving for ages and the dust here just sticks to your skin” and she smiled sweetly.

 

Sherry had to ignore the sneer she felt bubbling up and nodded her head “sure, dear” she said “Jared will show you to the bathroom” and she watched her son and his girlfriend go up the stairs “honey” she muttered to herself “if you think the dust is bad now... just you wait” and she went about making lunch for her hardworking man-folk.

 

Jared bounded down the stairs just as she was finishing making the sandwiches “hi sweetheart” she said and slapped his hand when he tried to sneak a sandwich and she turned to him “honey?” she asked as she leaned against the counter, her cowboy boots crossed at the ankles.

 

He turned to her “Yes, momma” he replied and smiled back at her when she leaned over to him, a conspiring look on her face “honey, that girl..” and she paused for a moment “is she a.. a moustache?”.

 

Jared frowned and stepped back “a... what, momma?” he asked confused and she flailed her hands around looking for the right word “you know” she said “a moustache, when a girlfriend is a fake girlfriend because you don't want people to know you have.... other preferences”.

 

Jared burst into laughter and hugged his momma close “you mean a 'beard' momma” he laughed “a fake girlfriend is called a 'beard' and no, Genevieve is not a beard, she's my real girlfriend”.

 

This made Sherry even more confused “but honey” she grabbed his arm to ensure his complete attention and she dropped her voice to a whisper “you're gay”.

 

Jared blushed and ducked his head “I'm Bi, I guess, momma” he said and smiled softly at her “I like boys and girls”.

 

Sherry frowned “are you sure?” she asked and walked over to the coffee pot to put the dark liquid into several thermos bottles to keep it warm “I mean, honey, ever since you were thirteen years old you've been...” but she trailed off and a slightly pained look crossed her face.

 

Jared saw the look on her face and blushed in shame “momma, that's all behind me now, I'm happy with Genevieve”.

 

She snorted and grabbed the tray of food “sure honey” she replied and carried the tray outside to the large table with enough seats for at least ten people “I am, momma” he reassured her, but he knew she didn't believe him.

 

“The boys will be here in a minute” She said “go get your... girlfriend and tell her lunch is served” she tried her best to sound sincere “and you might wanna advise her not to wear opentoed shoes on a farm”.

 

Jared blushed because he knew Genevieve wasn't used to farm life, she was used to spas and shopping and dinner parties, not to cows and barns with dust and sand all over the place “sure momma” he replied.

 

He marched up stairs and saw Genevieve had dressed down and he raised a brow “what are you wearing?” he asked and she looked up “I'm fitting in to my surroundings” she said.

 

Genevieve was wearing cowboy boots and jeans but both looked to brand-spanking new to belong to a real cowboy, her shirt was plaid with glitters and sequins and the hat on her head had little crystals on it, quite frankly, she looked ridiculous.

 

“Sweetheart, you don't have to try to fit in” He told her “you're perfect the way you are” and she smiled smugly “I know” she said “but this is your home” and she walked out of the room “now let's go get some grub” she fake drawled, nearly making his ears bleed and he hoped she wouldn't call his momma's food 'grub' in front of her.

 

When they walked into the kitchen they were greeted by Gerry and Jeff “Hey baby brother” Jeff's drawl teased before he pulled Jared into a bone crushing hug, Jared was always amazed that there was a person on this world that was taller than him and he wrapped Jeff up in a hug “hey, man” he replied “it's good to see you”.

 

“Come here and give your dad a hug, boy” Gerry's gruff voice demanded and he pulled his son into his arms “it's good to have you home, boy” and he cupped Jared's face in his hands, his eyes shining with happiness “damn good, boy” and he hugged Jared again.

 

It made Jared feel guilty for waiting so long to return to his home town and his family.

 

He introduced Genevieve to his dad and Jeff and Jeff pretty much had the same reaction as his mom but he had the brains not to voice it in front of Genevieve “well” Gerry drawled | let's go outside because your mother has prepared a feast and I thought I heard her say something about apple crumble for desert”.

 

They walked out of the house and Jared looked at the half dozen men already surrounding the table, either sitting or standing but chatting amongst themselves, typical cowboys, boots, jeans, chaps and hats firmly in place as they praised his mother for the food making her blush and giggle.

 

One man in particular grabbed his attention, he was standing next to his mother with his back towards Jared and what a back it was.

 

Worn boots encased feet and chaps ran up strong legs, Jared licked his lips when he saw the chaps end and the jeans began, the perfect curve of the man's ass, firm and round in tight denim.

 

A tight black shirt stretched across broad shoulders, the delicate but oh so enticing dip and curve of the man's spine, he gasped softly when the man turned around and Jared's eyes went to the front of his pants and even from here he could see the man filled his jeans well, a large buckle accentuating the area.

 

The man's chest was hard and defined, broad arms from long days working on the farm “thanks momma” the man's voice was rough but loving as it addressed his mother as 'momma' and Jared's eyes flew to the man's face.

 

“Jen” He whispered and the man's head snapped up fast as a whip, sparkling green eyes turning hard as stone, soft plush lips drawing into a tight line of anger as the man took him in.

 

Jared had fantasized about this moment, convinced that it was never going to happen anyway, that he would never see the man again, he had imagined what Jensen would say to him when they met again but the next words were the last thing he ever thought the green-eyed man would say “what the fuck are you doing here”.

 

Jensen's voice was harsh and tight as he took a step towards Jared, the denim and leather stretching around his legs and Jared couldn't help but notice where Genevieve looked like a fool Jensen looked like sex on legs, a cowboy 'salt of the earth, the only real men left' his nana would say.

 

All Jared could do was just stand there and watch the man he once called his best friend “Hi, y'all” and Jared winced when Genevieve threaded her arm through his and tried to drawl the words “I'm Jared's girlfriend, it's nice to meet you”.

 

Jensen's eyes narrowed and Jared couldn't tell if it was because of Genevieve's statement or her fake drawl, Jared knew that Jensen hated people who thought they were better than southerners.

 

A sneer drew across Jensen's face and he smiled fake “well possum on a gum bush, ma'am” he said sarcastically, his drawl even thicker than usual and it sent a shot of heat right to Jared's cock “how nice to meet you”.

 

His actions belied his words as Jensen turned and ignored the both of them as he walked to the other end of the table to join the other cowboys for lunch “Jensen, honey” Jared watched as his mother frowned and looked at where Jensen was sitting “what are you doin' all the way o'er there”.

 

Jensen dropped the sneer and smiled at her “just wanted a change of scenery, momma” he said “I figure those fancy folks that are visiting don't wanna sit next to me” and he looked straight at Jared “I'm not good enough for the likes of 'em”.

 

The other men had been watching the exchange with interest and a burly cowboy next to Jensen shot Jared a venomous look “Jenny just wants to sit here because the male comp'ny on this and of the table is way better” and he grinned at Sherry “though now he's gotta miss you're sparklin' personality Mrs. P.”


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes: ok. uhm sad Jensen in this chapter so beware. this is one of the more emotional chapters, thought I'd get it out of the way  


* * *

Chapter 2: 

 

 

Jared had to fight not to stare at Jensen during the rest of the lunch, when he left Jensen was 21 years old a gangly and skinny man with a boyish face and an innocent smile.

 

The Jensen that was sitting at the other end of the table was all male and nothing like Jared remembered, his face had hardened and angled, changing soft feminine features into hard and rough planes, the stubble on his face accentuating the sharpness of Jensen's jaw.

 

Jared's eyes roamed Jensen as the older man ate, the skinny body had changed into muscles that were bulging the clothes Jensen wore, thick biceps and visible pecks and Jared dared to bet that Jensen would have the 'V' shape that well built males had, himself included.

 

When he left seven years ago he'd never thought Jensen would end up looking like that, but the cowboy across the table blew his mind with how fucking gorgeous he was and he felt the itching need in his fingers to walk over there and run his fingers through Jensen short but soft looking hair.

 

“So, you know Jared” Genevieve's voice sounded across the table and Jared closed his eyes for a moment, wishing she'd shut up “excuse me.... uhm, you at the end of the table” and Jensen lifted his head, irritation visible in his eyes “what?” he snapped.

 

Jared grumbled for her to stop talking but she ignored him “You seemed to know my boyfriend” and Jared winced as she said that “where from”.

 

Before Jensen could open his mouth Jared stepped in “we we're kinda friends when I still lived here” he told her, not daring to look at Jensen “we hung out sometimes”.

 

He could almost feel the heated anger of Jensen's glare and he ignored the incredulous look on his mother's face “Jared!” she scolded softly as she couldn't believe what her son just said.

 

Jensen eyes turned cold “yeah” he said and looked at Jared, eyes hard and unyielding “me and Jared... just kinda friendship... didn't mean anything” and he took a bite of his sandwich “not a thing”.

 

Seeing Jared again had sent all kinds of emotions chasing through Jensen's body, anger, disappointment, hate, love, lust but the most vivid of all was the pain, sharp and unrelenting as it coursed through his veins at seeing Jared again.

 

It had been seven years since he'd last seen the man and Jared had changed, he turned from a tall, lanky kid into a gorgeous man with broad shoulders and narrow hips, what hadn't changed was the dimples in Jared's cheeks, dimples that he remembered licking and kissing when they were younger.

 

He felt his body start to shake and he shot up from the table “I uh” he stammered and stepped away from the rest “I remember I forgot to do something in the west paddock, I gotta go” and without looking back at the table he disappeared into the stable.

 

It took a few moments but Jensen emerged from the stables with a large brown horse, he got on and turned the horse towards the west “I'll be back for dinner” he called out, voice calm and collected as he spurred the horse on.

 

He rode and rode until he felt his horse start to tire and he looked around, he sighed when he saw where he was, the west paddock by the lake and he steered his horse to the water so it could drink.

 

Jensen sank down against a tree and tried to get his head back in order, Jared cold, harsh words spinning through his mind.

 

He ran a hand trough his hair and cursed when he felt tears track down his cheek “fucking asshole” he cursed Jared and he wiped the tears from his face, which was moot since the tears kept spilling from his eyes.

 

Jensen didn't know how long he just sat there leaning against the tree while Devil, his horse, drank water and nibbled on the grass.

 

He looked up when he heard the sound of another horse approaching and he grimaced as he recognized Winchester, Jeff Morgan's black stallion.

 

The large man got off the horse and sank down into the grass next to Jensen “you ok, kid?” he asked as he plucked a leaf of grass and stuck it in his mouth, looking like the cowboy he was.

 

Jensen shrugged his shoulders, cursing himself for the tears that threatened to spill over when he felt a large warm hand on his shoulder squeezing comfortingly “We've known each other a little over five years now, Jen” he said “I know when you're feeling like shit”.

 

Jeff was about fifteen years older than Jensen and he'd showed up at the ranch about five years ago, got hired by Gerry as foreman and never left, taking a personal interest in Jensen who'd been 22 at the time and just a pile of sad and broken human.

 

A tear escaped his squeezed shut eyes and Jeff's calloused hand cupped his face “shit, kid” he growled “what the hell is goin' on?” he wanted to know as his rough thumb swiped the tear from Jensen's cheek.

 

The younger man barked out a sarcastic laugh “nothing” and he took a shaky breath “I'm fine” and he showed Jeff a watery smile.

 

Jeff chuckled and dug his fingers into the back of Jensen's neck “boy, the past five years you've been like a son to me and I know you.... you don't cry” and he smiled softly “so don't bullshit a bullshitter” and he chuckled.

 

Jensen's lips curved into a slow smile, tears resting in the corners of his mouth “nothing, really” he said “just stupid memories”.

 

The older man frowned “that kid.... what's his name, Jared?” and Jensen nodded “so what's the story there, kid.... he used to beat on you or something?”

 

Jensen chuckled and shook his head “no” he said” he didn't beat on me” and he stretched his legs out in front of his, fingers playing with the strands of grass in between his thighs.

 

Jeff placed a large hand on Jensen's thigh and squeezed “you don't have to tell me, Jen” he said softly “but I think it would do you good to talk about it”.

 

It was silent for a moment as Jensen thought about it, wiping the remaining tears from his face and taking in a shaky breath “ok... I'll tell you my life story” he joked softly “just.... promise not to laugh at me or call me a pussy or something ok, I don't think I can take that right now”.

 

Jeff shook his head “kid” he scolded lovingly “have I ever done anything like that?” and Jensen shook his head “no” he said “but I've never told anyone about this before.... not that I needed to since the entire town had front row seats to what happened”.

 

Silence dawned over them once more as Jeff waited patiently for Jensen to get his thoughts in a row and start telling “I met Jared when he was five years old and I was seven” Jensen started “me and my family moved in next door and we hit it off immediately, even though he was younger than me”.

 

He thought back to the time he first saw Jared, small and stringy with a large mop of brown curls “we became fast friends” Jensen said “him and me were inseparable and I slept at his place more than I did at my own” and he chuckled.

 

Then Jensen grew silent for a moment “we were celebrating his thirteenth birthday.... and he kissed me” Jensen sighed at the memory of those soft and shy lips on his “he told me he didn't like girls, just me and from that moment” he swallowed harshly and his breath shuddered “I never felt... he... I loved him, you know”.

 

Jeff nodded and supportingly squeezed Jensen's leg again to continue “when he turned fourteen we told our parents... to both our surprise they were okay with it, they even had their suspicions “after that there was no separating us, though Sherry insisted the door stay open when I slept at their house” and he chuckled “not that that was necessary since we waited until he was sixteen”.

 

Jensen snorted “said it was the best birthday present he ever got... my ass” and he huffed “anyway” he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and sighed “I'd never been so in love before, the way he made me feel.... god” and he chuckled “I thought my heart was gonna explode every time he looked at me with those cat-like eyes of him”.

 

He felt his hand start to shake and he shoved it under his leg “for nearly thirteen year I lived and breathed him, there was nothing more important in my life, nothing that compared to him” and he felt his nose start to ache that familiar tingle that you got that let you know you were about to cry.

 

Jensen took a few moments to compose himself “I guess I knew that he was curious to the big cities and all that and that he wanted to go to college.... I just figured he'd go to UT, since he never mentioned anything else”.

 

He chuckled and looked up at Jeff “I got Gerry to take me on at the farm so I could save up for a car to go visit him there” and then he couldn't control the tears anymore “fuck, I hate it that he does this to me” he sniffed “I'm a fucking grown man... I shouldn't be sittin' here whinin' like a damn baby”.

 

Jeff grabbed the back of his neck “you kept this in for years, Jen” he said “let it out, maybe it'll help... I'm here to listen, tell me what happened”.

 

Jensen's tears were streaming freely now, the 21 year old hurt man in him coming up and demanding to be let out “I don't know” he whispered brokenly “I don't know what happened” and he took a deep breath “one morning I woke up and I went over to Jared's... it was a Sunday” Jensen's voice hitched and he couldn't continue.

 

Jeff just waited until Jensen had the strength to carry on with the story “I showed up on the doorstep asking to see Jared” and he laughed painfully “only to have her look at me as if I'd lost my mind... she told me.. told me that Jared had left the previous night... for Yale”.

 

Jensen buried his face in his hands “fuck!” he screamed in frustration “I don't know what the fuck I did wrong, why I wasn't.... wasn't enough for him, but” and he paused for a moment “he didn't care for me” Jensen concluded “he never... never loved me the way I loved him, that much was clear”.

 

“Why's that?” Jeff asked as he silently cursed the son of his boss for hurting his friend this bad “because” Jensen said as his eyes lifted to meet Jeff’s “he took off without telling me... I got to his house and he never even told me he applied for Yale, never told me he was leaving... fuck, the asshole didn't even leave a goodbye note, never called me”.

 

“Look” Jensen said as he got up and dried his tears “it's done, this was seven fucking years ago and I'm done with crying over that little shit” and he smiled at Jeff, the confidence back on his face “thanks though” he said “it did help to be able to talk about it with someone, no one ever asked about it because they knew, you know” and Jeff nodded “god, everyone pitied me so much and I don't want that happening again”.

 

He whistled between his teeth and Devil lifted his head and trotted over to him “good boy” he praised his horse and swung his leg over Devil's back “let’s get back... I need to get the dogs from Tom, promised him he wouldn't have to look out for them the entire day... just didn't want them around the bull, ya know”.

 

Jeff nodded, knowing that Jensen and his dogs had a very close bond and he mounted his horse “so, you're done crying like a little girl now and we can be all manly again” Jeff joked and Jensen laughed, loud and honest, a light in his eyes “sure, old man” he said “I know all this sharing and caring would get to you”.

 

The spurred on the horsed and made their way back to the house, Sherry, Jared and Jared's girlfriend were still sitting at the table “fence is fixed, Mrs. P” Jeff lied to cover up for Jensen and they halted their horses next to the table.

 

Jensen jumped off of Devil and reached into the basket of rolls “Jen, he's gonna be so damn fat he won't be able to hold you” Sherry joked as Jensen fed a roll to Devil and Jensen grinned at her “oh, come on, momma” he teased and kissed her cheek “you know he loves them rolls a yours”.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Author's notes: here's the next one. in this one we meet my two fave characters of this fic :D  


* * *

Chapter 3: 

 

 

Jensen stole another roll from the basket and smirked as Sherry let out a little squeal “greedy boy” she teased “now, momma!” he scolded lovingly “it's for my boys”.

 

Jared tilted his head and looked at the man standing beside his char, a smirk on plush lips and green eyes shining with mirth “what boys?” he asked and frowned when Jensen completely ignored him and kept on chatting with his mother.

 

Sherry had explained to Jared that Jensen had moved in about four years ago after his parents had moved to Los Angeles for Alan's work, Jensen now lived in the attic of the barn where he had his own kitchenette and stuff, but Sherry had told him that Jensen always ate with them.

 

When he asked her why Jensen called her momma she had smiled a loving and adoring little smile and looked at the barn where Jensen's space was, told him that after he left Jensen started hanging out at the farm a lot and she and Gerry had just kind of adopted him and she loved it that Jensen called her 'momma'.

 

“I gotta go, momma” Jensen said and rested his hand on her shoulder “I gotta go and release Tom of the gruesome twosome, or he'll go bonkers” and Sherry chuckled and pointed at the driveway where a red pick-up truck pulled in.

 

A slow smile spread across Jensen's face and Jared didn't like it one bit, he scowled when a tall, dark-haired man got out of the truck “Jenny!” the man called out and opened the cab of the pick-up.

 

Two huge husky's jumped out and started an impressively fast run to the table “there's my boys” Jensen grunted with a warm voice as he crouched down to pet and cuddle the dogs, the two large animals fighting for Jensen's attention.

 

“The gruesome Twosome actually behaved today” Tom smirked and Jensen stood up to envelop his friend in a hug “hey man, thanks for taking them today... they would have gone nuts around the bull”.

 

Jared looked at the dogs, they were unusual dogs to have around a farm, the black and white colored dogs not as easy to train as collies for herding and mustering but the coloring of the dogs was amazing.

 

One dog jumped and ran all over the place, white with a black stripe down his back and half his face black, the other dog, one with black around his eyes, black feet and a saddle shaped spot on his back stayed close to Jensen, as if the animal was glued to his calf.

 

The rambunctious dog ran across the yard and started barking playfully at the chickens in the pen next to the house “Banshee!” Jensen's voice cut through the barking and panicked clucking of the chickens “cut it out!”.

 

Banshee yipped and came running at them, colliding with Jensen's legs and nearly sending the cowboy to the ground, making him chuckle as he leaned down to scratch the wild dog behind the ears “good boy”.

 

Jared felt a stirring in his cock at that, remembering times where Jensen had called him a 'good boy' sending shivers down his spine at the memory.

 

“Don't know why you got that one, man” Tom joked “to much energy too little common sense” and Jensen laughed as Banshee rolled onto his back, begging Jensen to scratch his tummy “he's just a baby” Jensen said as he did just that.

 

When Banshee lost interest in getting his tummy scratched he jumped up and started annoying the other dog “leave him alone, Banshee” Jensen scolded gently “go play” and he grabbed the toy one of the dogs had dropped at his feet and threw it in the air.

 

Banshee barked and ran after it like he was possessed making Jensen chuckle and Tom laughed “damn crazy dog” Tom said and clapped Jensen on the shoulder “you coming over tonight?” he asked.

 

Jensen nodded “yeah man” he said “don't I always” and Tom smiled “well, since you guys got company, I thought you might wanna skip a night” and Jensen's eyes hardened for a moment “no man” he said looking at Jared and Genevieve “they're nobody important”.

 

The jab hurt Jared more than he was willing to admit but his eyes were still glued to the other dog, the one near Jensen's legs.

 

As Jensen had been talking the dog had lifted its head and licked at Jensen's fingers, Jensen had hooked his fingers and the dog was gently gnawing on them while Jensen's thumb caressed the dog’s snout.

 

It was strange to see Jensen like that, when they were little Jensen hadn't cared for anything besides his horse, he actually disliked dogs and to see him interacts with Banshee and the other dog was... strange.

 

The dog had let go of Jensen's fingers and was now licking the palm of his hand and Jensen crouched down “hey boy” he muttered softly as Jeff was talking to Tom “you been good today” and he scratched behind the dogs ear.

 

The animal tucked his head under Jensen's chin and placed his body in the crook of Jensen's as if reveling in the warmth and closeness of the man's body “I swear sometimes that dog loves you just a little too much” Jeff joked.

 

Jensen gazed lovingly at the animal at his feet and scratched the top of its head “Ghost here's just got good taste, that's why he don't like you” and he chuckled as Ghost barked as of to agree with Jensen.

 

The dog was so close to Jared and its fur looked so soft, Jared wondered if it felt soft to the touch so he reached out his hand to pet the animal.

 

In a flash the dog turned, bared his teeth and snarled at Jared “whoa” Jensen exclaimed “ease up, boy” and he touched the head of the dog.

 

Ghost calmed down in a second and turned back into the affectionate dog licking Jensen's fingers “sorry” Jensen said as his eyes were still on the dogs and then moved to look at Jared “his previous owner didn't really treat him all that good, he's a little... shy towards strangers”.

 

Jared looked suspiciously at the dog “that's not shy, that's murderous” he muttered and Jensen's eyes who had rested on him, soft and easy turned hard and cold “no” Jensen growled “he's just a good judge of character” and he turned his back on Jared again, ignoring the younger man once more.

 

Jared cursed himself silently for pissing Jensen off again, he just wanted to talk to the guy but with that attitude ad that damn dog guarding him he could kiss that chance goodbye.

 

Tom was saying goodbye and giving Jensen another hug, sending a shot of 'mine' through Jared's body but he knew he didn't have any claim to Jensen, hadn't for over seven years.

 

He looked up as he heard Jensen laugh at something Tom said and he felt the need build up in his stomach, the sound of Jensen's laugh bringing back the years he'd spent here with him.

 

“So I'll see you tonight, right?” Tom asked as Jensen walked with him to the truck, followed closely by Ghost and now a jittery Banshee who had walked up to them when Ghost had growled at Jared “yeah” Jensen replied “just make sure you got enough beer and chips”.

 

They laughed and said goodbye, Jensen's eyes following the red truck as it drove out of sight and Jensen turned back to Jeff who was still holding Devil and Winchester “come on, man” Jensen said as he took the reins of Devil “we still gotta check the North paddock.... Billy said the water trough was out of order”.

 

Jared watched as Jensen swung a muscular leg over the back of the large brown horse, in the sunshine the horse's color was more of a blood red and Jared knew why Jensen had called him Devil.

 

Jensen whistled through his teeth “hey, Gruesome Twosome” he called out and Banshee joined Ghost who was already next to Devil “good boy, Banshee” Jensen praised and looked at Jeff “see” he said “he's learnin' just fine”.

 

The large horse moved a little closer to the table and Jensen smiled at Sherry “Momma, we're gonna check out the north paddock, we'll make sure we're back in time for dinner”.

 

Jeff chuckled and nodded his head “damn straight” he said and turned his horse to the north “don't wanna miss a home cooked meal by Mrs. P” and he grinned at Sherry.

 

Sherry got out of her seat and walked up to Jensen “be careful, ok sweetheart” she said and squeezed his leg “and don't get to dirty” she teased “I don't want no mud in my house”.

 

Jensen laughed and leaned down to kiss the top of her head “don't you worry your pretty little head” he drawled “I'll keep 'em out of the mud”.

 

The two men spurred on their horsed to a slow trot and when Jensen noticed Banshee wasn't following he let out another sharp whistle “hey!” he called out “Banshee.... here!” the young dog yipped and ran to join the two horses and other dog in an easy pace.

 

Sherry watched the two men go and sat back down smiling “crazy boys” she muttered to no one in particular and grabbed a roll from the basket, plucking off small bits that she popped into her mouth.

 

“So...” Jared said nonchalant “Jensen looks good” and Sherry raised her head and frowned at her son “well sweetie, of course he does” she said “you knew him when he was younger, he was always a good looking boy”.

 

“A man now” Jared said without thought and his mother smiled fondly as she looked into the direction the two men had disappeared “yes, he's become quite a fine man... he'll make some man real happy someday”.

 

Genevieve scrunched her nose “he's gay?” she said in disdain “ugh” and that earned her a glare from Sherry “now dear” Sherry scolded “you're Jared's... girlfriend” and Jared didn't miss the little pause there “but Jensen's like a son to me and I won't tolerate people bad mouthing him”.

 

“So Jared, how does it feel to be back” Sherry asked, letting them know that that was the last she wanted to hear about Jensen being gay “I bet a lot has changed here, huh” and she smiled sadly “I do wish you'd come more often, we miss you around here”.

 

Genevieve excused herself, saying she was going to lie down for a moment because the trip made her sleepy and if Sherry was honest to herself she didn't really mind that Genevieve would go away.

 

When it was just the two of them Sherry poured two more cups of coffee and looked at her youngest son “so, sweetheart?” she started “wanna explain to your mother why the hell you're bringing girls home.... and don't give me that BI crap” she said “when you came to us when you were fourteen, you said you were gay... as in 'just boys' not boys and girls”.

 

Jared squirmed in his chair “I guess because of Jen...” and he stopped, not wanting to think about that “I guess I just hadn't realized that yet because there were no girls here that I liked”.

 

Sherry snorted “bull” she said and he most of the time he loved her for her honesty but right now he wished she would just leave him alone.

 

“You broke him, you know” Sherry said all of a sudden and Jared's head whipped up “what?” he asked confused and she smiled sadly “god, and he’ll kill me if he knows I'm telling you this”.

 

Jared frowned and scooted closer to his mother “who?” he asked “and tell me what, what did I break?” and Sherry looked at him, her eyes filled with pain for the man she saw as a son “Jensen” she replied softly “you broke Jensen, baby”.


	4. Chapter 4

  
Author's notes: woohoo, chapter 4  


* * *

Chapter 4:

 

 

“I don't want to talk about this” Jared said as he averted his eyes and took a sip from his coffee “well tough shit!” and he looked up at his mother’s angry outcry “I never asked you what the hell happened between you boys..l. But the way... what was left of that boy after you went to Yale... I deserve to know what the hell happened, Jared”.

 

It was silent for a moment “I was suffocating here” Jared said softly “this place, this town... these people, every day the same” and he took a breath “I needed to get out, needed to get away”.

 

Sherry frowned “that doesn't explain to me why Jensen came to our house that Sunday after you left and needed ME to tell him that you left for Yale, Jared” and she huffed “the look on that boys face when I done told him you left...” watery eyes looked up at Jared “he was like a son to me even back then, and a mother should never see a look of such pain in her child’s face”.

 

Jared lowered his head and blushed in shame “I...” but he could never explain because he knew, deep down that there was no excuse for what he did that time.

 

“That boy loved you, Jared” Sherry's voice was wavering and he looked up at his mother shocked at the sadness and slight disappointment in her eyes “he loved you more than anything, and you left him without telling him, without saying goodbye?” she shook her head “I can't believe I raised a son who could do that to another person”.

 

“Momma” Jared choked but Sherry shook her head “I love you Jared, I'll always love you” she said “you're my baby.... but right then... and even now sometimes, I don't like you very much”.

 

She looked up at him and grabbed his arm “I just want to know why, Jared” She said “I thought you loved Jensen, god.... the way the two of you were inseparable, I was sure that you were gonna drive that boy to California and put a ring on his finger as soon as it was legal”.

 

“I... he was so in love with working on the farm” Jared whispered “he was always talking about it, about maybe getting our own farm someday.... that's not what I wanted from life at that point”.

 

Sherry sniffled and wiped at her eyes “did you tell him that?” she asked “when he was talking about that, did you tell him that you wanted different things, that you wanted to go to college?”.

 

Her eyes were red rimmed and she took a napkin to dry her eyes, at Jared’s blush she could see that her son hadn't done that “oh, Jared” she whispered sympathetically “why didn't you do that, he would have followed you everywhere”.

 

“Because I didn't want to keep him from reaching his dream” Jared exclaimed but Sherry shook her head “you were his dream... baby” she said exasperated “he took the job on this farm to pay for a car... so he could visit you!”

 

Jared felt his chest tighten and looked up “he did?” his voice was small “he... he never told me” he said and he wrapped his long fingers around his cup.

 

Sherry shook her head “he wanted to surprise you” she said “he thought you were going to UT so he was saving up” and she squeezed his arm “he didn't know you were leaving Jared” she said and a tear tracked down her cheek “I've never seen a person hurt that much as him, when I had to tell him you'd gone”.

 

Jared didn't know what to say to that “I'm sorry” he whispered but Sherry shook her head again and he never thought a movement could hurt like that, seeing his mother look at him disapprovingly.

 

“He spent weeks just holed up in his room” She said, knowing Jensen wouldn't want her to know, but knowing Jared needed to hear what his actions had brought on “he cried for days and he wouldn't eat or anything”.

 

She paused for a moment “for months he was little more than a ghost” she said “and I'm not telling you this because I want to make him seem weak or anything... if anything, he's the strongest person I know” and she looked at her son “the love of his life left him and he pulled himself up off the ground”.

 

Sherry chuckled “god knows what a mess I'd be for the rest of my life if your father would ever leave me” she said “I'd never come out of my room” and she looked up at Jared “see, sometimes there comes a person into your life that you can't live without..... And it hurts like hell when that person doesn't return the feelings”.

 

Jared blushed and shook his head “I loved him” he said but Sherry stopped him “not like he loved you, Jared” she said “if you did then you wouldn't have left like you did”.

 

They were silent for a moment and she stood up “I don't want to know why you left, Jared” she said and started clearing the table “hell, I don't think even Jensen wants an explanation at this point” and she turned to stare at Jared “what I do want from you” she said determined “is that you stay away from him”.

 

Jared raised a brow and chuckled “are you seriously telling me...” but Sherry cut him off “this is not a laughing matter, Jared Tristan Padalecki” she said and he stilled at the use of his full name “I'm dead serious, you will stay away from him, I won't tolerate you hurting him again, you're both son's of mine, whether it's by blood or not, and his happiness means the word to me”.

 

Jared nodded his head “and I won't tolerate Genevieve hurting him either, or statements like at lunch, telling him he meant nothing to you.... I can't even believe a son of mine would say such a thing”.

 

He followed her to the kitchen as he could feel she hadn't said her piece just yet “there will be no blatant PSD's” she said and he frowned “ps whatta?” he asked and she flailed her arms, you know, kissin' and such in public” and Jared chuckled “PDA, momma” he clarified for her.

 

She snorted “I don't care what it's called, there will be none of it, especially where Jensen can see... that boy's god a good life and good friends.... and the barn is off limit's t you, young man”.

 

“What” Jared protested “what if I wanna go riding?” he asked and she thought about that for a moment “ask one of the guys to get you a horse.... no going inside the barn, that's Jensen's territory” and she chuckled “hell, the boy even gets pissy when Jeff tries to rearrange somethin' in there”.

 

That seemed to trigger a whole other conversation and Sherry let the Jensen thing drop, telling Jared about Jeff and his antics with the other boys “I swear” she said “that man is the oldest out there but mentally the youngest” and she chuckled.

 

There was one question burning on his tongue and he couldn't hold it back “that Tom guy?” he asked “who's he”.

 

Sherry eyed him suspiciously “he and Jensen are good friends, together with Chris, Steve ... they always hang out together” and she giggled “Steve and Chris are actually a gay couple that moved into a farm down the road, turned it into a gay B&B” she laughed out loud “damn near killed the town sheriff, threw a hissy like you wouldn't believe”.

 

Jared laughed and helped his mother with the dishes “Tom went there on a vacation with his boyfriend, when they broke up Tom came back here because he liked it so much, he now does the stables for the B&B, it runs pretty good, lotta gay folks wantin' some country”.

 

He couldn’t believe that there now was an actual gay B&B in his old town, he really needed to come back more often “Tom and Jen hit it off right away, both love horses and such... and when Tom gave him Ghost... love at first sight”.

 

Jared cringed “with the dog, I mean” Sherry added “Ghost was just a pup, underfed and beaten like you wouldn't believe... for some reason Jensen just bonded with the poor thing... it's never left Jensen's side unless he's stayin' with Tom” she giggled “and then about a year back Tom came home with Banshee and told Jensen that he had to take him, give Ghost a buddy”.

 

She pointed at the mantle and there was a picture frame with two pictures in there, one of Jensen with a pup Ghost in his lap, the dog licking his face and the other was Jensen sitting down with a tiny Banshee in his lap and Ghost spread out next to him “they kinda saved each other” Sherry said “Jensen didn't really show interest in anything before Tom came along and brought him Ghost.... those dogs” and she giggled again “plus, they're damn funny”.

 

Jared smiled and looked at the pictures again, loving the huge smile on Jensen's face on both pictures, not a posed smile but a real one, brought on by the silly antics of the animals.

 

“Must be nice, to have dogs like that” Jared mused “I wanted dogs, but Genevieve doesn’t really like them” and Sherry frowned “honey” she said “not that I disapprove of her or anything.... but are you happy, does she make you happy?” she asked.

 

Jared looked down at his soapy hands “she's a nice girl, momma” he said and Sherry grabbed his arm “that's not what I asked, JT” she said “I asked you if she makes you happy... compared to how happy you were with.... other people, does she make you happy?”.

 

The young man averted his eyes “I'm not gonna marry her, if that's what you're asking” he said “but until then.... it's nice to not be alone, you know”.

 

Sherry nodded in understanding “I know sweetheart” she said “but what if you miss out on the person you're meant to be with because you're dallying around with her?”

 

“I don’t know” He said and he walked over to the mantel piece, still looking at the photo’s “he looks really happy here” he muttered.

 

Sherry smiled “it’s because he is happy, baby” she said “and you will be too, you’ll find the right person for you, whether it’s a guy or a girl, it don’t matter none darlin’, you’ll find love”

 

Jared had to think about that for a moment and then he turned to his mother with wet eyes his fingers stroking over the image of Jensen and his dogs “what if ….” And he paused to compose himself “what if I already met the perfect person for me, and I screwed it up” his voice breaking.

 

She looked at him with sympathetic eyes “honey” she said and cupped his face “there is no such thing as screwing it up with the person you’re meant for, because if you’re meant to be with someone then you’ll eventually get together, whether it’s easy as pie or if it’s hardship and heartache…. It’ll work out” and she kissed his cheek.

 

“I never…” He swallowed harshly and ran a finger along the contours of Jensen’s face in the picture “Genevieve is my first relationship since… since Jensen” he confessed “we got together a couple of months ago”.

 

His mother watched him and gently took the picture frame from his hands “if it’s this you want” and she held the frame up so he could see the picture of Jensen “if that’s what you really want, you’re gonna have to fight for it hon” and she stroked his cheek “you’re gonna have to fight teeth and nails for it”.

 

Jared nodded his head “No, Jared” his mother interjected “I mean, really fight for it… like send her away and stay here on the farm as long as it takes” and she smiled softly at him “that boy loved you like you hung the sun and the moon, baby” and she thumbed his cheekbone “but what you… but what happened all those years ago messed him up, he’s not the trusting easy guy you once knew” and she put the frame back on the mantel piece “this Jensen is hardened and tough and he doesn’t show affection easy… hell, it took Jeff about a year for Jensen would even smile at him”.

 

“Are they…. I mean Jeff and Jensen, did they?” And he blushed when his mother chuckled “No, Jeff is straight, I think he’s datin’ a girl in town…. But that Tom…. He and Jensen are close and though Jensen never told me anything, there might be something more there”.

 

Jared ducked his head and sighed “see, I’m too late and I was too fucking stupid back then to see what I had… now it’s gone”.

 

Sherry pinched his arm and he yelped “Ma!” and she wiggled her finger at him “I told you you’d have to fight for him” she said “hell, if you even just want him to say a kind word to you you’re gonna have to grovel and fight… and who could blame the boy” she smiled and rubbed his arm “and baby” her voice growing harsh and warning “if you even start trying to get back with that boy… you damn well better mean it…. or I’ll send Chris after you” she chuckled “and that boy is one scary son of a bitch”.


	5. Chapter 5

  
Author's notes: Jensen gets himself in a little jam and he needs a resque.... hope you enjoy  


* * *

Chapter 5:

 

 

It had been two days since Jared even saw Jensen, according to his mother Jensen ate at Chris and Steve's for those two nights.

 

After the conversation in the kitchen with his mother he'd start to think and the next morning he had broken up with Genevieve and drove her to the airport so she could go back to LA, the fact that she wasn't all that sad made him feel a bit better about breaking up with her in the middle of the vacation.

 

Jared was sitting at the table out in the yard eating lunch with his mother and father since the rest of the guys were all fixing the fence on the north side of the property.

 

“I still can't believe them damn boys” His father muttered “cuttin' a man's fence... that's just bad manners” and Sherry chuckled lightly “I'll go have a talk with their mothers if I can find 'em”.

 

Gerry snorted and leaned over to poke her side, making her giggle and squirm out of his reach “hands, Gerry!” she scolded teasingly and Jared laughed “my eyes” he mocked and he covered them with his hands.

 

There was a rumble in the yard and Jared sneered when he saw a red truck pull up “what the hell does he want now?” and he huffed “Jen's not even here”.

 

His father placed a hand on his shoulder as he stood up “green's not a good color on you, son” he said and smiled at Tom “hey, son” he said and hugged the younger man “what can we do for ya”.

 

Tom smiled brightly “I was supposed to pick Jen up” he said “we were gonna go into town and get that part for his truck since it's been out of commission for three weeks, and since Jenny lost his drivers license last month he can't drive himself”.

 

“Honey” Sherry said and motioned for Tom to come over “have a cup of coffee with us” and the man smiled and walked over to Sherry to kiss her cheek “thanks Mrs. P” he said as she poured him a cup.

 

“Hey” Tom said and focused his attention to Jared “you were here a couple of days ago” the man held out his hand and Jared shook it reluctantly “Jared Padalecki” he introduced himself and Tom smiled “Tom Welling, nice to meet you”.

 

The dark haired man took a sip of his coffee and sighed “you still make the best coffee, ma'am” he praised her and she blushed “thanks darlin' I 'preciate that” she replied and handed him a freshly baked roll “boy like you has gotta eat” she said and he took it smiling.

 

“So the prodigal son returns, huh?” Tom said as he finished his roll “your momma's told me lot's about you” he said and Jared smirked “and Jensen, I'm sure”.

 

Tom frowned and shook his head “nope” he said “Jenny's never mentioned you before... you two were friends growing up of something?”.

 

Jared scowled “something like that” he said and huffed, he couldn't believe Jensen never mentioned him to Tom “Jensen and I used to date”.

 

Tom took a sip of his coffee “huh, really?” he asked and Jared nodded “I thought Jenny only dated this one guy....”Tom stopped talking and took Jared in, looking him over before his bright eyes turned dark and the smile on his face turned into a murderous sneer “oh, you” he deadpanned.

 

Jared squirmed in his seat at Tom's disapproving look “yeah, he mentioned you a time or two a copula years back” the man said “if I were you, I would wipe that smug look of my face”.

 

In the distance there was shouting and they all looked up from the table “what the heck” Sherry said as she got out of her chair “what's Jeff doin' rising like the devil done possessed him” and Gerry followed her example.

 

By the time Jeff galloped onto the yard they were all standing there waiting for him “Tom” Jeff called out “good, grab your truck, follow me” and he jumped off Winchester while the horse was still moving, skidding into the sand.

 

“Grab a couple long ropes and we'll need towels and some clean clothes” Jeff stopped when he felt Gerry's hand on his arm “what's going on Morgan?” he asked as he looked into the man's eyes “looking like you seen a ghost”.

 

Jeff shook his head “none that serious” he said “but we do gotta hurry” and then he chuckled a little “Jenny's in a little bit of a jam” and he swung the ropes Tom handed him over the shoulders of his horse.

 

“What happened?” Tom asked and Jeff got back onto the horse “there was this dumb ass lamb” he started “he done got himself stuck in quick sand and Jenny.... well you know Jenny, e just had to go and play superman”.

 

Sherry stepped forward, a worried look on her face “what happened Jeff and she waited for the man's reply “Jensen got up into the tree that hung over the pit and the branch was weaker then he thought, took a dive into the sand and now he's stuck with the lamb” Jeff explained “he was in to his thighs when I left him but we gotta get him out before he gets in too deep”.

 

Jared's eyes widened at the story and he marched over to Tom's car “I'm coming with you” he said and Tom sneered “I don't think so, city boy” he said “you stay here and take care of your little girlfriend”.

 

It didn't do any good because Jared was already seated in the truck and waiting for Tom to get his move on, the tall man sighed and walked over to his truck “lead the way, Jeff” he said and got into the red vehicle.

 

To Jared the drive down to the pit seemed to last way to long and when he got there he jumped out of the truck followed closely by Tom and both his parents “thank fuck” a voice muttered and Jared turned and his eyes widened at Jensen.

 

Jensen was almost waist deep into the quick sand, a small lamb in his arms and an irritated look on his face.

 

Jensen's two dogs were tied to a nearby tree with a piece of rope, both barking and whining to get loose and get to their owner, Jeff probably tied them up so the animals wouldn't get into the quicksand.

 

“It's about damn time” he said “that horse a yours take a nap in between or something?” he scolded Jeff.

 

The older man chuckled and started to unwind the ropes “shut up, boy” he said “you owe that damn horse an ass load of apples when we get your ass outta there”.

 

“Tommy” Jared flinched at the relief in the tone of Jensen's voice when he said the other man's name “good to see you man.... now get me the hell outta here” he ordered and Tom smiled as he stepped a little closer “you ok?” he asked and sighed in relief when Jensen nodded.

 

“Oh, honey” Sherry's voice was scared and shaky “honey, don't move” and he held on to Gerry's arm as she watched fearfully as Jeff fabricated a lasso.

 

Jensen smiled at Sherry “I'm fine, momma” he said “Jeff and Tommy'll get me out and all I need is to change my pants”.

 

Jared stepped forward and Jensen's eyes switched to him “damn” he mocked “I should charge y'all money to see this, make me a rich man” and he chuckled.

 

Then the chuckle went to a look of horror and Jensen scrunched his nose “damn” and he pouted and wriggled a bit “what?” Tom asked worried and the man in the pit whined “I got quicksand down my crack”.

 

“Son of a bitch!” Jensen called out as both Jeff and Tom fell into a fit of laughter at his statement “fuck you, Tommy” he said and Tom chuckled “not until you clean that sand outta your crack, boy” and Jensen flipped him off while holding on to the lamb.

 

Jeff threw the makeshift lasso over to Jensen “arms through and on your back” and he snickered “bet that's not the first time you've had that order” and Jensen flipped the older man off “screw you, asshole” he said and struggled to get his arms through without dropping the lamb.

 

“You” Jensen shook the lamb a little to get its attention and it looked at Jensen with large scared eyes “you better show some gratitude or else we'll be barbequing lamb chops tonight.... got it”.

 

Tom assessed the situation “Jeff's right, we can't use the tree for leverage, it's dead and hollow, that’s why you fell” and he thought “on your back is the best, we're gonna have to drag the two of you out.

 

Jensen sighed in exasperation “I'm gonna get dirty, ain't I” he whined and struggled to turn his back to Tom and Jeff “boy” Jeff chuckled “you're waist deep in quicksand with sludge down your boxers.... I reckon you already are dirty”.

 

“Hey” Tom called out to got Jared's attention “help us for a sec, would ya” and he indicated Jared should help pull.

 

Jared grabbed the rope and on Jeff’s count they started pulling, it was hard, the and sucking a vacuum around Jensen's waist and legs, they grunted and groaned and little by little they drew Jensen closer to solid ground.

 

“Just a little more” Jeff said and with a last tug they drug Jensen onto the solid ground around the pit, Jensen's arms went slack and he fell back onto the ground “damn” he groaned.

 

The lamb cried out and jumped out of Jensen's arm, the man lifted his head an inch off the ground, not having the energy to do much more “ungrateful little shit” he muttered.

 

Sherry hurried over to Jensen and checked him over “on, baby are you ok” she cooed as she cupped his face in her hands, smearing traces of sand across his cheeks.

 

Jensen grimaced “I'm fine momma” he said and snorted “and you just got sludge all over the last clean piece of skin I had” and he sat up straight.

 

He took the towel from Jeff with a grateful look on his face “thanks man” he said and wiped his hands and face “god, I want a shower” he muttered and shook his head a bit to clear it.

 

Jensen looked at his feet and then lifted his eyes to look at Tom, his eyes wide and a dumbfound look on his face “dude” he whined “I lost my boots” and Tom looked down to see Jensen's sand covered socks.

 

It was silent for a moment and then everyone sputtered into laughter “fuck, and they were my favorite” Jensen whined as he got to his feet.

 

Jared caught him, hand closing around Jensen's bicep and the older man looked up into his eyes “I got you” Jared murmured as he gazed into vivid green eyes.

 

Jensen stuttered his thanks and pulled away from Jared's grip to move over to Tom's truck to lean against it, still panting with the exertion “fucking made me lose my boots” he muttered as he took the bottle of water Tom held out for him.

 

Suddenly Jensen was surrounded by to barking dogs who couldn't get close enough to their owner and Jensen crouched down to scratch behind their ears in comfort “scared ya, huh boys” Jensen cooed as he petted the animals.

 

Jensen felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look at Tom “Gerry's gonna drive the truck back to the farm” he said “I'll ride Devil back for you” and Jensen nodded “thanks man” he said and slowly got into the truck “oh and Jen” Tom added with a smirk “you're cleaning out the interior of the truck, 'cause you're the one gettin' sludge all over my seats”.

 

They chuckled and Jensen waved at Tom and Jeff “my heroes” he joked before Gerry put the car into drive and backed the vehicle up.


	6. Chapter 6

  
Author's notes: here ya go people. hope you enjoy  


* * *

Chapter 6: 

 

 

Jensen jumped out of the truck and hurried to the porch “damn, I never wanted to take a shower this bad” he muttered as he stripped his dirty shirt over his head and tossed it in a corner baring his upper body.

 

Jared stumbled on the steps when he saw Jensen standing there half naked and working to get his wet socks off “still can't believe the damn pit took my boots” the man muttered to himself and Jared heard his mother giggle from the kitchen “serves you right... playin' hero an all”.

 

There was a snort form Jensen and Jared's mouth started to water when he took in Jensen's bare feet and chest, the older man was now working on getting his chaps off but the leather was clinging to the wet denim and Jensen nearly bumped his head against the porch railing “crap” Jensen giggled and finally freed himself of the constricting leather.

 

Jared knew the older man had no idea he was being ogled like this because he knew without a doubt that if Jensen knew he'd probably kick Jared's ass “momma” Jensen called out “can I have a towel?”.

 

Sherry walked out onto the porch and smiling handed Jensen a fluffy white towel “appreciate you not getting' sand all over my house, sweetheart” and she pressed her lips against the wet hair near his temple “now go shower because you smell like an outhouse”.

 

Jared's heart nearly stopped when Jensen's hands went to the front of his pants and the older man peeled the fabric off strong, slightly bowed legs and threw it in the corner to join the rest of the dirty clothes.

 

He wrapped the towel around his boxer-clad waist and turned around, freezing when he noticed Jared “can I help you?” Jensen asked as he padded past Jared and into the house.

 

Jared didn't remember to give a reply until he could hear Jensen bounding up the stairs and he walked back into the house to join his mother in the kitchen “Oh, Jensen!” his mother walked to the bottom of the stairs and waited for the young man to reply “are you eating here or at Chris'?”.

 

Jensen called an answer down but Jared missed it as Jeff chose that moment to walk into the house with Tom by his side, the two men were laughing and joking around.

 

“Hey, Mrs. P” Jeff greeted his mother and he sat down at the table, followed by Tom and Sherry placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of the two men “here boys” she said “I think you deserve this” and she placed two plates with a large slice of homemade cake in front of the two men.

 

Twin groans were heard as the two men bit into the tasty treat “thanks Sherry” Tom said as he licked the crumbs off his lips “hmmm... tomorrow” he told Jeffrey “we're so throwing Jensen's ass back in that pit and fishing him out again..... this cake is amazing”.

 

“Oh, you boys” Sherry scolded lovingly and then shuddered “I don't want to think about what would have happened if you hadn't been there Jeff” and she placed her hand on the large man's shoulder “my baby...” and she sniffled, the emotions becoming too much for her.

 

Jeff got up out of his seat and wrapped Sherry in a hug “it's ok, Mrs. P” he soothed her “you know Jen... he's a touch son of a bitch and I was there... he's fine”.

 

She nodded against his shoulder and pulled away “you're right” she said drying her tears “you're absolutely right and I'm gonna stop blabberin' like a fool before I really embarrass myself”.

 

At that moment Jared's brother Jeff walked in the door and saw his mothers red rimmed eyes “momma” he asked worried “what happened and he looked at Jeff “Morgan, what the hell happened?” he wanted to know.

 

Jeff looked up at the oldest Padalecki sibling and smiled reassuringly “Jensen got stuck in a quicksand pit... we had to drag him out and now the emotions are rearin' their heads”.

 

The tall man nodded and walked over to his mother “its ok, momma” he said “little bit of sand ain't gonna get Ackles under... trust me” and she chuckled “damn straight” she said and Tom snorted “not so much, no”.

 

Jared felt the need to sneer at the man, how dare he act all familiar with his family "I'mma go and change into a fresh shirt... this got muck all over it” he stated and got up off the chair.

 

He needed to get out of there, didn't want to spend a minute longer in Tom's company because looking at him just reminded him about what his momma had said about Jensen and Tom being more than just friends.

 

Jared walked up the stairs and when he got to the top he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight in front of him and he immediately felt his cock respond.

 

Jensen was bending over to rummage thought a closet, probably in search of clothes since the current number he was wearing on his body was zero, not even a freaking towel and Jared felt like he couldn't breathe.

 

He had known that Jensen's body had changed, that the soft and skinny features turned into a broader form but this was even beyond his wildest dreams.

 

Jensen's strong legs were slightly parted as he bent over to dig through the closet, his ass on display and Jared tried to force himself to stand still and not just walk over to Jensen and show him how good things could be between them.

 

Slowly the older man got to his feet and Jared diverted his attention elsewhere, namely the smooth and creamy expanse of Jensen's back smattered with numerous freckles.... and bruises “Jesus Christ” and Jensen turned around and nearly stumbled to the floor with surprise.

 

“Jared, what the...” And then he realized his state of undress and he pulled a towel from the closet and wrapped it around his waist “What the hell are you doing Jared?” he asked as he backed up against the wall when Jared stalked closer.

 

“You have bruises all over....” And he paused when he saw something more disturbing “what the hell is that?” he asked and he pointed at the two inch scar low on Jensen's abdomen, the red line disappearing under the towel.

 

Jensen frowned and looked down at his stomach “what.... oh” he said casually and lifted his head “that's nothing.... had to have my appendix removed” and he shrugged his shoulders trying to burrow back into the wall as Jared kept advancing.

 

“That's not the scar of an appendectomy, Jensen” Jared growled lowly “what the hell happened” and the demanding tone on Jared's voice threw Jensen off a bit before he snapped “it ruptured” he said “they had to go in with more than the normal equipment or I could have gotten infected”.

 

Jared stared at the scar and frowned “you weren't supposed to get hurt” he murmured and Jensen was about to give a snarky retort but that got caught in his throat when Jared reached out and traced the scar with his finger.

 

The silence in the hall was deafening and Jensen's breath hitched up a notch when he felt those large hands grab his waist “how did this happen... you had to have been in pain way before the rupture” and he frowned again “why didn’t you go to the hospital... wasn't anyone taking care of you”.

 

Jensen turned his head so he wouldn't have to look Jared in the eyes but his traitorous body refused to move from Jared's grasp “thought it was a stomach ache... didn't think much of it until it ruptured and I went down”.

 

Jared cursed and traced the scar gently, stroking the marred skin of Jensen's abdomen “gonna fucking kill him” Jared muttered and Jensen's eyes widened “kill who?” he asked.

 

Jensen looked at Jared as the young man grew quiet and he felt a bit of anger well up “kill who, Jared?” he demanded “and what for?”

 

Hazel eyes gazed burning at him and Jared's face was a mask of anger and compassion “Jeff.... my brother, not your Jeff” he clarified “when I left..” and Jared missed Jensen's body going rigid under him “I told him to take care of you, to look out for you, keep you safe... make sure...” but before he could finish that sentence he was pushed away and landed on his ass on the hard floor.

 

“Fuck you, Jared” Jensen raged “it is not... nor has it ever been your brother’s job to look out for me” he fumed “I'm perfectly capable of defending myself, thanks” and he stormed past the taller man.

 

“Wait, Jenny...” And Jared swallowed hard when the shorter man turned around and glared murderously at him “you” and he poked Jared in the chest “you have lost the right to call me that seven years ago, Jared” he bit out “only my friends call me that.... so don't you fucking dare”.

 

“Jen...sen” Jared stammered as he reached out to grab the fleeing man “just... wait” but Jensen's green eyes were cold and distant “let me go Jared” he said harshly and the younger man released his grip on Jensen's arm “and don't ever touch me again”.

 

Jared felt the blinding need to run after Jensen as the man bounded down the stairs but the look on Jensen's face had thrown him, the pure anger in those green eyes, Jensen had never looked him like that before, not even when he first got back here.

 

Jensen ran down to the kitchen and stopped when he saw Tom and Jeff “hey” he said smiling, trying to ignore their raised eyebrows at the lack of his clothing “I'm gonna grab some clothes and then I'm going with Tom” Jensen stated and he walked out the door.

 

When he got to his loft he sank down onto his bed with a groan, a mixture of anger and pain and lust and he tried to get his mind back in order.

 

His hand moved down to his stomach and he absentmindedly stroked the scar of the appendectomy “fuck” he scolded himself and forced his legs to move, after he was dressed he pulled his spare pair of boots from the closet and growled again at the loss of his favorite pair.

 

There were heavy footsteps on wood and he turned around “just fuck..” but he trailed off when he saw it wasn't Jared “Tom” he sighed in relief and smiled at his friend “sorry, thought it was someone else”.

 

Tom scowled and nodded his head “I bet you did” he said and moved closer to Jensen “you ok, man?” he asked “you looked upset when you came down just then”.

 

Jensen gave his friend a soft smile “Jared cornered me in the hallway” he said “I still... I just can't talk to him, you know” and Tom nodded “I understand man”.

 

It was silent as Jensen put his boots on and grabbed his leather jacket “lets go” he said the frown making way for a large smile “Chris and Steve'll be waiting and you know” and he winked at Tom “they don't like to be kept waiting”.

 

Tom snorted and followed Jensen down the stairs “bunch of prima donna's if you ask me” Tom chuckled and unlocked his truck “wanna take the kids?” he asked as he motioned for the two dogs on the porch and Jensen nodded “yeah” he said and whistled sharply “come on, boys” and he lowered the tailgate of Tom's truck so the dogs could jump in.

 

Jensen closed the back of the truck and walked over to the passenger’s side “did you bring the good tequila?” Jensen asked his friend “'cause you know Steve only buys that cheap shit” and Tom laughed as Jensen scrunched his nose “now I like my tequila like every hot blooded Texan but... that shit they buy... that ain't tequila”.

 

Tom laughed out loud and stepped into the car “ain't that the truth” and he fished a large bottle of José from the back seat “I got you covered baby” and he smirked at the slightly shorter man “now who's your daddy” and Jensen snorted with laugher “you are, baby” he cooed girly and punched Tom in the shoulder.

 

The dark haired man started the truck and he slowly backed off the property neither man noticing Jared sitting on the porch surrounded by darkness and a hurt look on his face at the way the two men interacted.


	7. Chapter 7

  
Author's notes: new Chapter  


* * *

Hey guys, 

 

If you're bored with the lack of SPN during the hiatus come join me at my blog. everyday I will comment on one of the episodes each day, give my take and opinion on that epi and you're all welcome to join and comment :D. I'll also be writing normal blogs but be prepared for the exuberant amount of crazy ;p.

 

check it out at acklesaddict.wordpress.com

 

 

********

 

Chapter 7: 

 

 

The light was shining in his eyes and he grumbled sleepy and turned onto his stomach to shove his face in the pillow.

 

“Jared” His mother’s voice sounded from the other end of the door “are you decent?” and he chuckled softly “Yeah, momma, come in” he replied and the door opened to reveal a flustered Sherry.

 

“Honey... could you do me a favor?” She asked “I really need to make bread for the market tomorrow and I promised Jensen I would drive him into town so he could pick up the parts for his truck.... could you be a doll and drive him to the car shop?”

 

Jared was out of the bed within seconds “yeah” he said as he reached for his jeans “yeah, I can drive him down to the shop” and he pulled the denim over his legs.

 

“Thanks sweetheart” Sherry said and pinched his cheek “such a dear boy” and she walked out of his room leaving Jared to get dressed.

 

Spending time alone with Jensen, Jared couldn't believe his luck the drive in to town took a good half an hour and maybe he'd be able to coerce Jensen into lunch at the diner in town.

 

He shaved, brushed his teeth and bounded down the stairs to find Jensen and Sherry in the kitchen, Sherry busy kneading dough and Jensen sipping coffee and munching on a piece of toast “hey man” Jensen said as Jared walked in “thanks for driving me down”.

 

Jared flustered even though it wasn't anything special and he sat down to a plate of toast and eggs his mother placed on the table for him “no problem” he said “I want to go to the candy store anyways” and Jensen chuckled “you and that damn sweet tooth... surprised you still got all your teeth”.

 

The younger man laughed and took a bite “who says they're mine” he teased and finished his breakfast quickly.

 

“Let's go” Jensen said as he grabbed his hat and placed it firmly on his head “I want my damn truck up and runnin' for when I get my license back”.

 

They got into Jared's SUV and drove off the farm, the radio was playing some kind of emo-rock song and Jensen reached out to fiddle with the installation until it settled on a local station playing country songs.

 

Jared kept quiet and after a while he heard Jensen mumble so he looked over to the other man, Jensen's eyes were closed and he was enjoying the wind blowing in through the open window softly singing to the music.

 

“Can't believe you listen to this shit” Jared teased and Jensen's green eyes opened, a smirk on his face “come on, it's fun” he said “Now fella's” he sang along with the song “you better watch your steps”.

 

Jared laughed out loud as Jensen sat up straight and pulled a face “don't let them teeny fringe bikini's make you lose your breath”.

 

“You're insane” Jared laughed and Jensen threw back his head and raised his arms as he sang loudly along to the music “come on Jared” he said and joined back in with the song “let those Igloo coolers mark your piece of paradise!”.

 

Jared knew the song, it was one of the more popular country songs by Rascal Flatts and he joined in with Jensen “summerni-hi-ghts... everybody feeling sexy!” Jensen's voice pleasantly rough while Jared was as off key as a seagull.

 

All too soon the edge of town became visible and they calmed down a bit, still when Jared parked the car and Jensen jumped out to stretch his back “pussy” Jared scolded “we've only driven for about half an hour... how can you be stiff”.

 

“I'm used to the rocking sway of Devil, man” Jensen replied “cars don't really have my preference” and he looked around “let's go to Grandpa Ben first” he said and started to cross the street towards a store with a pink front.

 

A bell rang when Jensen pushed the door open and Jared greedily inhaled the fragrance of the candy store “hey, grandpa!” Jensen called out and an old man with gray hair walked out into the store “there's my boy” and he hugged Jensen close “been to long”.

 

Jensen nodded and Jared's attention waivered as his eyes cought sight of all the candy “Jared, my boy.... it has been a long time” Ben said and shook Jared's hand “'fraid you turned into a city slicker, but you still dress like a southern man” he chuckled as he noted Jared's jeans and boots.

 

Jared smiled “thanks Ben” he said “it's good to see you too” and they went about getting Jared an ass load of candy to get him through the weeks at the farm “you come back soon now, y'hear” Ben called after them as they crossed the street.

 

The next stop was the car shop where Jensen picked up the parts he had ordered for his car “I still can't believe you got your license taken away” Jared chuckled “you were always so responsible” and Jensen chuckled “time's changed” he said “I'm a bonafide rebel nowadays” and he winked at Jared.

 

Jared's breath caught in his throat when Jensen winked at him, the smug smirk on his ex's face nearly sent him into overdrive and he fought not to reach out and touch the older man “hey, uhm” Jared said shyly “let's get something to eat, ok”.

 

Jensen's eyes flew to the diner across the road and smiled “hell yeah” he said “I could eat some of Holly's famous apple pie”.

 

The younger man frowned “Holly... what happened to Dana?” and a cloud drew over Jensen's face “Dana died two years ago” he said “cancer... so Holly took over the diner since it was her mother’s pride and joy... she's done it good”.

 

Jared stopped and thought about that, Holly was Jensen's age and he didn't want to think about how it would feel too loose your mother at such a young age.

 

They entered the diner and the bell above the door sounded joyfully “Jensen!” a brown-haired girl behind the counter greeted them “it's good to see you.... pie?” and Jensen answered by laughing and walking up to the counter to lean over it and kiss her blushing cheek “hey, Holl's” he said “good to see you... business is boomin' I see” and he eyed the full diner.

 

“Pfff.. what else is new” A redhead girl butted in and smiled, then her eyes slipped past Jensen and her gaze darkened “what the fuck is he doing here?” she asked venomously and Holly gasped “Danneel!” she scolded “mind your manners”.

 

The redhead snorted and walked around the counter and marched up to Jared “you have a lot of nerve showing your face her” she said and without warning she lifted her hand and slapped him in the face, the sound loud in the now quiet diner “Danneel!” Jensen's voice was flabbergasted as his friend hit his ex.

 

“What the hell is going on here” A blonde emerged from the kitchen, an apron around her waist and traces of flour on her cheeks “Jared?” she asked incredulous and walked up to him, another gasp traveled through the room when she slapped him on the other cheek “you're not welcome here” she growled.

 

Jared's eyes were wide and both his cheeks were red “Kristen, you're burgers are bur... oh my god” the tiny brunette walked around the counter and gawked at Jared “Jared Padalecki as I live and breathe”.

 

“Sandy” He said smiling, Sandy had been his best girlfriend growing up and he didn't expect the joy he felt at seeing her again, she walked up to him, lifted her hand and punched him square in the jaw with her closed fist “you son of a bitch!”.

 

The three girls standing in front of him were very intimidating though all three were at least a head shorter than him, they reminded him of the three furies, one red, one blond and one dark “what the hell!” Jared exclaimed “Sandy... you didn't even like Jensen!”

 

Sandy growled and stepped forward threatening to hit him again so he quickly took a step back “you pompous son of a bitch” she said “I could care less about Jensen” and Jensen snorted “yeah, thanks San” he said but she ignored him “he's not the only one you left without saying goodbye, you know”.

 

Holly stepped around the counter and placed herself in between Jared and the three fuming girls “Jensen, why don't you take Jared home and come back another time when things have... calmed down?”

 

She handed Jensen a box and smiled at him “pie” she said and winked at him, he leaned down and kissed her cheek once more “you're a saint” he said and turned back to Jared “let's get you a cold pack or something” he said and marched out the door.

 

Jared couldn't do anything but follow Jensen and he watched as Jensen placed his pie on the back seat next to the purchased parts and Jared's bag of candy “we should get home... I have chores” Jensen said and climbed into the car.

 

The younger man sighed, Jensen's mood had gone from light back to the dark Jared was getting s used to, his shoulders slumped and he got into the driver’s seat.

 

Jensen was quiet during the ride home, more quiet than he had been in days and Jared missed the singing Jensen he had next to him on the way into town, green eyes didn't leave the side of the road and Jensen's mouth was a thin line, a large contrast with the normally plush lips.

 

The drive seemed to take forever but finally they returned to the farm and Jensen jumped out of the SUV and gathered his things “thanks for taking me” he grumbled to Jared as he placed the parts on the porch and took the pie inside to put it in the fridge.

 

“Jen...” Jared called out but the other man had already diapered into the house “Jen... wait” and he caught up to him in the kitchen “what?” Jensen snapped at the taller man.

 

Jared ran a hand through his hair and stared at Jensen with pleading eyes “Jen... I thought” he paused to find the right words “we were doing so well” he said and looked at the beautiful face of his ex.

 

Jensen's face darkened and he placed the box in the fridge “funny” he deadpanned “that's what I thought seven years ago” with that he grabbed his hat and hurried out of the house leaving Jared by himself in the kitchen.

 

“Fuck” He cursed and marched up to his room, Sherry watched her son run up the stairs “oh dear” she sighed wearily, a book open in her lap.

 

Her eyes drifted down to the book that held all kind of photo's from Jared's child hood, her fingers lingered on the first picture in the book, she remembered the day like it was yesterday.

 

**flashback**

 

“Donna” Sherry greeted the woman by the door and leaned down to stare at the boy clinging to her skirt with one hand and the other tightly wrapped around a toy horse “and you must be Jensen” she cooed and ruffled the light hair on the child’s head “come in, come in” she said and gestured for them to enter the house.

 

She let the twosome into the living room and Donna awwed at the young boy sleeping on the sofa “he's a cutie” she said as she looked at the child and Sherry smiled “he's ok” she said but love shining in her eyes.

 

Seven year old Jensen pried himself away from his mothers skirts and looked at the boy on the couch “baby?” he asked his mother and Donna chuckled “no sweetheart” she said “Jared's five years on, he's not a baby anymore”.

 

Jensen took a step closer and squinted at Jared “looks like baby” he said stubbornly and Sherry chuckled “sure... sometimes he acts like a baby” and she smiled at Jared who was sucking his thumb contently.

 

“My baby?” Jensen asked as he stepped closer to Jared to peer at the young boy and a small hand hesitantly reached out to touch chocolate curls “no honey, that's Sherry's baby” his mother said and Jensen's lip started to wobble dangerously.

 

“Ohh, honey” Sherry said and pulled Jensen into her lap “he can be your baby too” she chuckled and Jensen's smile brightened “cool!” he exclaimed and the two women laughed.

 

The noise caused the boy on the couch to waken and hazel eyes flickered open slowly “he's awake” Jensen said and he scrambled off Sherry's lap to sit next to a sleepy eyes Jared “mommy bought me a horse” Jensen said and proudly showed off his toy.

 

Jared eyed his mother and then the horse in Jensen's hand “don't you have one?” Jensen asked and the small boy shook his head shyly “that's ok” Jensen said and thrust the toy towards Jared “you can play with this one, he can be our horse”.

 

Jared smiled blindingly at Jensen and grasped the horse in tiny fingers.

 

**end flashback**

 

That moment was captured forever, when Jensen had handed over the horse the two boys had formed a bond so strong that nothing could pull them apart, at least that's what she had thought at the time, never in a million years thinking that Jared would be the one to sever that tie and her heart ached for her two sons.


	8. Chapter 8

  
Author's notes: Merry Christmas!  


* * *

Chapter 8:

 

 

Jensen heaved another bale of hay on his back and climbed the ladder “god, how I hate this chore” he complained and he heard a chuckle from down in the barn “talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, you know”.

 

Jensen laughed and popped his head over the ledge of the hay storage “hey guys, what the hell are you doing here?” he asked and the two men grinned “keeping you from going insane” Steve replied as he started climbing up the ladder.

 

“You know” Jensen said as he pushed the bale's into place “I have the most intelligent conversations with myself... and it's always about something that interests me” he chuckled “that's more than I can say when I talk to you or him” nodding in Chris' direction.

 

“That's not what you were saying two nights ago” Chris said as he parked his butt on the hay “you thought I was the next great poet” and Jensen laughed “yeah well, I dare anyone to have a straight thought when they've got a bottle of tequila in their system”.

 

Chris snorted “son... you haven't had a 'straight' thought in your life... liquor involved or not” and Steve chuckled “ain't that the truth”.

 

“Hey... slackers” Tom shouted from down in the barn “when Mrs P asked you to help Jen with the hay I don't think she meant 'rolling around' in it”.

 

Steve grabbed a clot of hay and flung it over the edge, seconds later Tom was cursing and sputtering and Jensen laughed as he saw the tall man picking pieces of straw from his hair “scarecrow” Jensen joked and Tom looked up and stuck his tongue out.

 

The tall man climbed up the ladder and smirked at Chris and Steve “I swear” Tom sighed “sometimes I think even Banshee has more brains then the two of you” and Chris proceeded to tackle Tom into the hay “say uncle!” Chris laughed as he covered Tom in the itchy golden straw.

 

There was an excited barking from the ground and Jensen peered over the edge of the hay attic “see, now you've done it” he said and descended the ladder “you two roughhousing worked up Banshee” and he crouched next to the barking dog “ease up buddy” Jensen murmured as he calmed the dog down.

 

“What's going on” Jensen looked up and chuckled at Jared before he glanced up “they are” and he pointed to where Chris was visibly being attacked by both Tom and Steve, shouting out pleads for mercy “don't mind the idiots in the hay” he said with a last scratch behind Banshee's ear.

 

“Chris, Steve!” Jensen called up “come down here, wanna introduce ya to someone” Jensen called up to the guys and he turned to Jared.

 

Jensen caught something from the corner of his eye “hey boy” he said and he crouched down again, this time to pet and cuddle Ghost, the large dog soaking up the attention and rubbing his body against Jensen's “good boy” he muttered and kissed the top of the animals head.

 

“You need to get laid” Chris said as he landed on the floor with a thud “the affection your giving those dogs is sickening” but the laughter was apparent in his voice “I'm Chris Kane” he said and held out his hand for Jared to shake “I'm with the blond dumb ass up on the attic, we run an Inn”.

 

Jared shook Chris' hand and smiled “Jared Padalecki, nice to meet you” and Chris' brow rose almost to his hairline “Jared, huh?” he asked “we been hearin' a lot about you boy” and the tone of Chris' voice wasn't exactly what Jared would call friendly.

 

Another thud and an arm wrapped around Chris' waist “down boy” and deep voice joked and Jared looked into the man's startling blue eyes “I'm Steve Carlson” the man introduced himself “good to meet you”.

 

Jared managed a small smile, still a little stunned by the angry look he was receiving from Chris “you have to excuse my partner” Steve said “he sorta adopted Jensen when we moved here... he's kinda protective”.

 

“With good reason” Chris muttered through clenched teeth “it's ok” Jensen placed a hand on Chris' shoulder and smiled at Jared before turning towards his friend “how about we let bygones be bygones and we just go see if momma has a fresh pitcher of iced tea waiting for us, huh?”.

 

Tom landed next to Jensen and slung his arm around Jensen's shoulder “hmmm” he murmured “momma's iced tea and maybe we can con something to eat from her too” Jensen chuckled and let Tom maneuver him out of the barn “I don't know why it is that you're not weighing 600 pounds” he joked to Tom “with all the crap you eat”.

 

The three other men and the two dogs followed the pair to the main house, Jared startled when Ghost trotted past him to flank Jensen on the other side, Jensen's hand came out and rested his fingertips in the dogs soft fur as they walked up the porch.

 

“Stay” Jensen said firmly to Banshee and Jared watched as the dog barked in response and sank down onto the patio in a nice path of shade while Ghost followed his owner into the house “why does Ghost get to go in” he said to no one in particular.

 

“Because Ghost refuses to leave Jensen's side most of the time” Steve replied even though Jared hadn't expected an answer “Ghost and Jensen have kind of a symbiotic relationship” Chris chuckled “they get physically ill if you keep them away from each other too long”.

 

Jared frowned and Steve laughed “that's a lie” he said “but they do like each other a lot, Ghost depend on Jensen to keep him safe and I guess Jensen depends on Ghost for the same”.

 

They entered the house and joined the other two men and Jared's mother at the table, Ghost sitting next to Jensen's seat, the man's fingers still buried in the white fur “hey, momma P!” Chris called out and enveloped Sherry in a bone crushing hug “Hi Chris... Steve” she said while Steve gave her a more gentle hug.

 

Sherry got up and poured them all a glass of homemade iced tea “here you go boys” and in addition she put a basket filled with oven warm buns on the table “dig in” she said and smiled when all the men reached in for a bun.

 

Jensen grabbed two and she smiled at him “that dog get's spoiled too damn much” she teased gently and Jensen smiled at her as he fed Ghost a piece of bread “he deserves to be spoiled” he replied and scratched the dog behind his ear “god knows he deserves it”.

 

“So Steve, how's the Inn going along?” Sherry asked and Steve smiled brightly “it's going great” he replied “the weeks are still kind of quiet but the in the weekends were mostly booked to full capacity”.

 

Tom snorted “don't let that fool you Sherry” he said “full capacity is five rooms, so it isn't exactly busy”.

 

Chris grabbed the back of Steve's neck “well, we're still growing but we both enjoy the work and the people who come to our Inn... we bring a little tolerance in a State that's not all that tolerant of people like us”.

 

Jensen chuckled “people like us?” he asked “you make us sound like a race of lepers or something” and Tom chuckled “well when we walk into that bar up Hully Road we might as well be” and Sherry chuckled “oh, you boys” she said “that's not nice... they're trying”.

 

“We know, momma” Jensen said “and we're thankful that it's gone as smoothly as it has been for the last couple of years” Chris chuckled “think of it this way... it could be worse... we could be livin' in Mississippi”.

 

Tom checked his watch and stood up “I better get going, those stables aren't gonna muck themselves out” he grabbed his hat and turned to Sherry “thanks for lunch Mrs. P... wonderful as always”.

 

She smiled up at him “my pleasure, honey” she said “you have a good day now” she called after him and Chris and Steve got to their feet also “we better be going with him or we'll be walking home” Chris chuckled and they hurried after Tom.

 

Jensen finished his iced tea and stood up as well “I'm off too, momma” he said “I promised Jeff I'd check the north border for him... since he's taken over fixin' the well on the south paddock”.

 

Sherry got up and cleared the glasses off the table “sure, sweetheart” she said and kissed his cheek “you be safe now and don't fall into any quicksand” which got a chuckle form Jensen “I'll do my best” he promised jokingly.

 

He whistled sharply through his teeth and Ghost was next to him in a flash “be back before dinner, young man” he heard Sherry call as he walked out the front door to gather Banshee and Devil.

 

“Jensen, wait up” Jared ran after him “can I come... checking the borders, I mean?” and Jensen raised his brow “you wanna come?” he asked and Jared nodded enthousiastically “you can't ride” Jensen said.

 

Jared frowned “can't we take the jeep?” He asked and Jensen chuckled “nope” he said “Jeff took the four wheel drive and mine still isn't fixed” Jared eyed Devil with trepidation “damn” he muttered.

 

Jensen chuckled softly and jumped onto Devil's back “you trust me?” he asked and Jared looked up to see Jensen's outstretched hand “we can't go fast but he'll get us there”.

 

There was a moment of hesitation in Jared's eyes, he never really liked horses, unlike Jensen who's always been a natural on the four legged animals “it's not you that I don't trust” he said and eyed the horse again.

 

“I trained him myself” Jensen said “there's nothing to be scared of” and he reached for Jared again “you wanna come and check the borders then this is the method of transportation”.

 

Jared hesitantly grabbed Jensen's hand but the moment his skin made contact with Jensen's he closed his hand tightly around Jensen and allowed the other man to pull him onto the horse “hold on... like this” Jensen said and he pulled Jared's arms around his waist “let me know if you're slipping”.

 

He spurred the horse on and Devil set off in a slow trot “this ok?” Jensen called back to see if Jared was ok and he felt the tall man's head nod against his shoulder so he whistled for the dogs “lets go” he ordered and he turned Devil into one of the many small paths only accessible to horses and bikes.

 

The entire ride Jared felt like his insides were being turned to much by the movement of the horse and when Jensen finally stopped the horse near a fence he sighed in relief and Jensen laughed at him “you city boys aren't used to shit" he teased and swung his leg over Devil's neck and slid off the horse.

 

“Come on” he said and motioned for Jared to follow his example “we'll walk past a large part of the fence so your ass can have a little rest”.

 

Jared stiffly jumped off the back on the horse and rubbed his ass with his palm “damn... my SUV is way more comfortable” he said and Jensen chuckled as they walked along “and also a lot less practical” he said “horsed are more maneuverable and way more handy in terrains like this... not to mention better company”.

 

Jared snorted “really, I don't see a radio on your horse” he joked and Jensen turned and smiled at him “look around” he said and motioned for their surroundings “why would you want to be distracted from this by loud crappy pop?”

 

The younger man stopped while Jensen kept walking and he looked around, fields of green were stretched out as far as the eye could see, trees scattered the fields and the occasional building popped up in the distance.

 

Birds were singing and you could hear the wind sweeping through the trees, in the distance there was the sound of cattle and water in the stream “it's ok, I guess” he said, not wanting Jensen to know how amazed he was.

 

He didn't remember it like this, when he thought of home he remembered the stifling heat, the grumpy people and the intolerant youth in town, he remembered the smell of manure and the boring long days of summer.

 

Jared remembered feeling trapped and suffocated, he didn't remember the stretching plains, the smell of freedom and he couldn't understand how he could have forgotten the way Jensen looked when he smiled.

 

The youthful face had been replaced by a handsome grown man with laugh wrinkles in the corners of his eyes, the freckles were still the same as were the green eyes and the plush lips he remembered kissing so many times.

 

“See, that right there is why we check the fences” Jensen said and pointed at a loose wire before he walked to his saddle bag and pulled out a tool to fix the wire.

 

Jared watched interested as Jensen went about fixing the fence, placing the tool back into the bag when he was finished “cattle moves past it and sometimes it jars something loose and...” Jensen stopped talking when Jared moved into his space and placed his hand on Jensen's hip to pull him close.

 

“Jared?” Jensen asked as he tried to step away from the tall man but Jared's hand closed tighter around the denim and leather “Jared, what are you doin?” but the tall man gave no reply as he stepped closer and cupped Jensen's face with his other hand, his thumb gently caressing Jensen's cheek.

 

“Jen... I” Jared's voice was hoarse and he dipped his head down to Jensen's so the shorter man could feel the heat of Jared's breath ghosting across his face “Jared” Jensen whispered, unsure of what was happening and whether he wanted it to happen but Jared seemed determined as he leaned in further.

 

Jensen felt the overwhelming heat of Jared against his body and he felt every inch of him respond to Jared's nearness, it had been years since he'd been this close to the other man and on one side he wanted to be even closer but at the same time he wanted to run as fast as he could, far away from Jared.

 

Their lips were so close together Jensen could almost taste Jared's breath on his tongue when there was a crackling sound “Jensen? Jensen, you there?”.

 

The sound jarred Jensen and he stepped away from Jared and he grabbed the walkie “yeah, right here” he said and released the 'talk' button.

 

Jared was breathing heavily and he cursed whoever was on the other end of that damn devise, he ran his hand through his messy hair and took a deep breath, still smelling Jensen and he felt the ghost heat of Jensen's body against his.


	9. Chapter 9

  
Author's notes: I'm actually stunned by myself, this story has been going on for 9 chapters and still no sex! that's a first for me, that's for sure. also this chapter, no sex but we get to know a little bit more about Jared's headspace.  


* * *

Chapter 9: 

 

 

“Oh, come on!” Jensen called out laughing “we all know you can hold on longer than that!” he was leaning against the fence of the coral and one of the other cowboys was riding a bucking bronco.

 

The man on the horse flipped him off “shut the fuck up, Ackles.... I'd love to see you do better” and Jensen chuckled and shook his head “fuck, no” he called back “besides.... I'd rather ride something else”.

 

Jared was sitting a couple of yards away looking at the spectacle in front of him, this was the third horse the man had under him, the other two a lot more docile and calm though Jared hadn't really paid attention to the horse and rider.

 

All his attention was on the cowboy leaning against the fence, Jensen was wearing his usual get-up the jeans, chaps and boots topped off with a tight shirt and cowboy hat, a rolled up lasso hanging from the loop of his belt.

 

Ever since the almost kiss Jensen had been keeping a safe distance from Jared while all Jared wanted was to be closer to the other man, a loud yelp was heard and the man on the horse went flying to the hard and unforgiving ground of the coral.

 

Jensen doubled over with laughter, his arm wrapped around his stomach and he held on to the fence with the other “that's.... oh, that's just nine kinds of funny” Jensen sputtered while the other man hurried his way to the fence and scrambled over out of the way of the angry horse.

 

“Bill.... thanks” Jensen said as he slapped the other cowboy on the shoulders “haven't had a good laugh all day”.

 

Bill glared at Jensen “shut up, boy” he said warmly “or next time it'll be your pretty ass on that horse over there” and he moved his body closer to Jensen's.

 

His mother had told him that Billy was from the farm next door and he was the best horse breaker in the entire county so sometimes he did them a favor and broke a couple in for them but what she apparently failed to tell him was that Billy was gay.

 

It was also very obvious by the way he was leering at Jensen and stepping closer to the other man “or maybe I could ride something else.....” and Billy's finger hooked in one of the loops of Jensen's jeans “you know.... you could break me in all you want”.

 

Billy was about half a foot shorter than Jensen and Jared softly snorted, Jensen might not love him anymore but he knew Jensen had taste and he also knew that Jensen would never go for a guy like Billy.

 

Jensen placed a firm hand on Billy's chest and pushed him away slowly “sorry cowboy” he said with a smirk “but you must be 'this tall' to ride” and he indicated a height about the same as Jensen himself.

 

“You're a terrible tease, you know that” Billy grunted and stepped back “it's not my fault I'm vertically challenged, you know” he called back joking as he stepped back onto the coral to grab the reigns of the now calmed down horse.

 

“Hey, Jen!” Jensen's head shot up at the sound of his name and both dogs who'd been resting in the shadow of the trough lifted their heads when Tom came walking to them “Hey, Tommy” Jensen called back and leaned back against the fence.

 

Jared's eyes tracked hungrily across the shorter man's body that was on display, hips canted outwards accentuating the flat plane of Jensen's stomach.

 

Tom stalked over to Jensen and wrapped an arm around his neck “whatcha doing?” he asked and Jensen nodded in Billy's direction “watching a horse kick Billy's ass” he chuckled.

 

The short man who'd just freed the horse back into the paddock called out “see y'all later” and winked at Jensen “let me know if you change your mind”.

 

Jensen chuckled and shook his head “I won't” he assured the other man and watched him get in a beat up truck and drive off “what did he meant?” Tom asked and Jensen chuckled “he wanted to fuck me” and Tom snorted “poor guy... doesn't he know a guy must be 'this tall' to ride”.

 

The shorter man burst into laughter and leaned against Tom's solid body “that's exactly what I told him” he chuckled “you can read minds.... that kinda freaks me out” he joked.

 

Tom smirked and nodded his head “I'm the all knowing.... fear me” and then smiled widely “which remind me.... wanna go for a swim?” he asked “Steve and Chris are already at the lake... it's too fucking hot to move today”.

 

Jensen stepped away from Tom and started walking to the barn “where are you going?” Tom asked and Jensen waved as he kept walking “gettin' my trunks” he called back “go see if you can pry a pitcher of lemonade from mom”.

 

Jared watched Jensen go through the barn doors “Hey, Padalecki” and he turned his head to Tom who was looking at him “You got a trunk?” the dark haired man asked and Jared nodded “go get it, you're brother's coming with too”.

 

He got up in a hurry and went to grab his trunks, he didn't know why Tom had invited him because he knew Tom didn't really like him but he was just offered to spend the afternoon with Jensen and he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

 

The rest of the guys were waiting for him and he climbed into the bed of Tom's truck where Jensen and the two large dogs were already waiting “let's go” Jensen said as he tapped the top of the cab.

 

Banshee had both front paws on the top of the cab and his tongue was hanging from his mouth while his ears flapped in the wind and Jensen chuckled softly “crazy dog” he muttered fondly while they pulled off the driveway.

 

Ghost had his head in Jensen's lap and Jensen was absendmindedly petting the large head of the dog “they're gorgeous” Jared said out of the blue and Jensen's head shot up “huh” he said dazed and Jared smiled “the dogs, they're gorgeous”.

 

A soft smile covered Jensen's face and he tugged softly on Ghost's ear making the dog look up “yeah” Jensen agreed “they're kind of awesome” and he scratched the large animal behind the ear.

 

The only thought in Jared's head that it was Jensen who was kind of awesome, the fact that he'd taken both dogs in and turned an abused dog into a best friend showed what a gentle person Jensen really was.

 

They pulled up at the lake and both dog jumped from the car “stay close” Jensen warned and Jared wondered whether the dog even knew what the words meant, though he'd doubt both animals would stray far from Jensen anyway.

 

Jensen jumped after the dogs and when Jared touched down Tom and Jeff had already taken their shirts and jeans off and ran towards the two other men in the water “bitches!” Tom called out as he ran straight into the lake.

 

Jared slowly stripped off his clothes, jeans joining his shirt and shoes and he was glad he took his black trunks instead of the 'fashionable' colored ones Genevieve had picked out for him.

 

When he finished undressing he turned to Jensen and stopped dead in his tracks, Jensen had his shirt off and his fingers were resting on the buttons of his jeans but he wasn't moving, no Jensen's green eyes were fixed on Jared's body.

 

“You're not the only one who grew a little muscle, Jen” Jared teased and he ran to the water and disappeared into the cold, effectively killing the massive hard on that had been building when he felt the heat of Jensen's gaze on him.

 

Jensen was still standing by the truck and he had trouble getting his fingers to do as he wanted, the sight of Jared's half naked body had been a shock, he remembered Jared as the skinny kid when he was nineteen but this Jared was a whole other ball game.

 

His eyes moved to the lake where Jared was messing around with his brother and Jensen's breath hitched when he saw the ripples of Jared's muscles under the tan skin, wide shoulders and large biceps, not even trying to ignore the burning heat in his stomach as he saw Jared's tight abs and huge arms and hands.

 

Both of them had changed a lot, not only their bodies but mentally as well and Jensen didn't know how to act around the new and mature Jared.

 

He'd spent his entire youth getting to know the younger man and years ago he thought he knew Jared better than he knew himself, knew what Jared loved and hated, what his dreams and fears were until all was crushed when the younger man left and for a long time he hadn't known how to act around anyone because if he misjudged Jared, Jared whom he'd known all his life then how wrong was he about other people he didn't know as well.

 

Jensen got rid of the rest of his clothes and yelped when he was lifted into the air and over broad shoulders “come on.... scaredy-cat, the water ain't that cold” Tom teased and he carried Jensen over to the lake.

 

“Tom, let me go” Jensen yelled laughing “I swear to god Tom if you don't let me go right the fuck now...” but the tall man didn't listen and unceremoniously dumped Jensen into the cold water of the lake.

 

Jensen sputtered and hoisted himself out of the water using Tom's body for hold and he wiped the water from his eyes and glared at Tom “ohhohoh” he breathed and grasped the firm biceps of the tall man “you are so dead” and he hooked his leg around Tom's sending the other man into the water.

 

Tom surfaced and with a smirk he wrapped his arms around Jensen's waist and pulled him under “think you can take me, little man” he teased as he splashed Jensen's face with water “huh?”

 

The shorter man laughed and tried to get away from Tom's grasp “mercy! mercy!” he screamed as he grabbed Tom's arms and held them away from his body.

 

Jensen's body was shaking with laughter and he sank against Tom's chest, still laughing and shaking uncontrollably “son of a bitch” he gasped when Tom's fingers found his side and poked softly so Jensen squirmed away “that's a cheap shot” he protested and wiped his hair back, slicking it over his head.

 

Jensen's shorts had slipped down during the wrestle and Jared's eyes were glued to the small dip right before the delicate curve of Jensen's ass, water droplets were running down freckled skin and disappeared into the back of Jensen’s shorts, oh how Jared wished to be a drop of water.

 

It almost hurt to look at Jensen, the man was just breath taking and Jared felt a pang of pain when he thought about what he’d put Jensen through, how he hurt the other man, the only other person who had ever loved him apart from his family.

 

It had made so much sense to Jared all those years ago, he knew exactly why he left and why he didn’t tell a soul and he had never regretted one single moment.

 

Not once during his time a Yale or when he moved to the city and met Genevieve, not once had he thought back about what he’d done.

 

Yes, he’d thought about Jensen, he’d thought about the other man a lot, so much even that sometimes he thought he was going to go stir crazy because he saw Jensen’s face everywhere.

 

There were moments where he couldn’t breather, when he felt like he would suffocate because the loss of Jensen was so severe but he convince himself that he’d made the right decision, that leaving this tired old town with its tired old people behind was the best thing he ever did.

 

Never had he regretted that decision, never, right up until that moment when Jensen had looked into his eyes with such pain and hatred that Jared could feel it all the way in his bones, that full body ache a person got when something hurt so bad, not physically but mentally, a hurt so deep that it felt like your chest was being crushed by a boulder.

 

But when Jensen had looked at him with those wide green eyes, surprise and that anger and pain flitting across them and those hateful words the other man had spoken, that was the exact same moment Jared had felt his life coming undone, unraveling before his own eyes.

 

When he’d left he never even thought that Jensen would have trouble getting over him, in his eyes Jensen had always been too good for him, Jensen was smart and funny, he was strong, sexy and caring and for some reason he chose to be around Jared, when Jared left he never for one moment thought that Jensen couldn’t get with another guy within days, if it would even take him that long.

 

In a million years Jared never would have thought he’d hurt the other man so badly, it had been the fault of youth, not knowing what kind of impact one had on another person’s life, not knowing what a gaping hole would be left when he took off.

 

All he’d been thinking about was not getting stuck in that town, not spending the rest of his life on a farm messing around with cows and horses, talking with an accent and wearing a wide-rimmed hat.

It had taken him seven years and a bitchy girlfriend to come back home, only to realize that all those things he ran away from, the dust, the heat of the sun, the smell of live stock and tequila… that’s what he really wanted.

 

It took years at a fancy school, surrounded by beautiful people who spoke without accents and followed the latest fashion to find out that deep in his heart, in the darkest corners of his soul all he really wanted, need was right here dressed in faded jeans and chaps.

 

All he needed was swimming a couple of feet from him, laughing and joking with his friends as Jared watched and he had to fight the urge to reach out and pull Jensen in close to beg for forgiveness, beg for Jensen to take him back but he figured right in front of Jensen’s friends was not the right place to do that.

 

“Hey, little brother?” Jeff’s voice was a surprise next to him and Jared startled before he found steady footing “huh?” he asked and Jeff smiled “a party tomorrow night at Chris and Steve’s place, how about it?”

 

Jared nodded and smiled “perfect, yeah… I’m in” he replied and Jeff ruffled his hair “you looked like you were in deep thought baby brother” he teased “care to tell me what’s going on in that freakishly large head of yours?”

 

The younger Padalecki shifted his eyes over to where Jensen was being wrestled under water by Chris and Tom while Steve just stood there watching and shaking his head “I’m getting him back, Jeff” he said and Jeff didn’t need to ask for clarification “I don’t care what it’s gonna take, but I’m getting him back”.


	10. Chapter 10

  
Author's notes: next week I'll be updating the rest of my stories  


* * *

Chapter 10:

 

 

“Whatcha makin’ momma?” Jensen asked as he kissed Sherry’s cheek who was furiously stirring a brownish concoction “I’m making some chocolate cake for the party tonight” she replied and added another egg “I also bought whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles”.

 

Jensen groaned appreciatively “momma, your cookin’ is gonna make me rip out of my pants one of these days” and she giggled “nonsense” she replied and pinched his butt “I’ll just put you on water and bread for a couple of weeks so you don’t lose that ‘bod’ of yours”.

 

Green eyes sparkled and Jensen smirked “’bod’? momma” he questioned and laughed again “there are some words that should never leave your mouth because they just sound ridiculous… bod being one of them” and he kissed her cheek again.

 

Sherry smiled and shoved him off “oh, you get” she chuckled “Tom called and asked if you and Jeff could bring over the stereo set a little earlier, they wanted to set up”.

 

Jensen barged outside and looked around “Hey Jack… you seen Jeff P?” he asked another guy who was leading a couple of horses to the paddock “yeah, he and Marc went to the south paddock, something about the troughs there”.

 

Jensen cursed and groaned when his cell rang “yeah” he answered and Tom’s chuckle was soft of the other end of the line “boy, don’t you got any manners” he joked and Jensen snorted “not concerning you I don’t” he replied.

 

The other man laughed “anywho” he interrupted “I was calling to see if you could come over earlier, Chris and Steve want to have everything set up before the guests get here so if you’re done…” and he trailed off.

 

Jensen sighed “yeah, sure” he said “I’ll see what I can do” and he hung up on Chris while walking to his loft to change into the clothes he had laid out for the party, a pair of tight jeans and a black button-down on top of his standard boots and hat.

 

He spalshed on a little cologne and placed his nice watch on his wrist, the one that he usually wore is battered and dusty so he placed it on his night stand.

 

For a moment he stares at his own reflection in the small mirror and he sighs “let’s get this show on the road” he muttered and bounced down the stairs where he’s greeted by two enthusiastic huskies.

 

“Sorry boys” He says as he walks over to the main house “but you’re gonna have to stay here with Jeff and his girl to keep an eye on the place” Ghost whined and Jensen scratched his head “won’t be gone long, boy” he soothed the dog and smiled as Jeff walked over to him “Hey Morgan” Jensen called out “take care of my boys now, y’hear”.

 

Jeff snorted and shook his head “don’t I always” he said and whistled for the two dogs, Banshee trotted over instantly but Ghost looked up at Jensen with Sad eyes “go” Jensen encouraged him smiling “go keep Bansh in order”.

 

Jensen strode into the house and sniffed the air “hmm, momma, that smells so good” he said appreciatively as he smelled the rich aroma of chocolate cake.

 

Sherry chuckled and patted his cheek while she was wrapping the still warm cake into a Tupperware box “just make sure it makes it to the party and doesn't get eaten halfway down the road, ok” she teased and he chuckled.

 

“Is Jeff back already?” He asked and sighed when she shook her head “damn, Chris wants me to come over early but Jeff promised to drive me and he's not back” he sat down at the table and stuffed half a roll into his mouth “I'll drive you”.

 

Jensen turned and looked at Jared who was standing in the doorway “I mean, I'm done and I have a car.... I don't mind” Jared said softly and Jensen got to his feet “yeah, sure” he replied “lets get the stereo and stuff”.

 

Both of them loaded up the gear for the music and the cake and salads Sherry had made for the party “tell Chris that your dad and me will be along shortly” Sherry called out from the kitchen window “and tell Tom that the cake is meant for dessert”.

 

Jensen chuckled and nodded before he got into Jared's car and buckled up “out the drive and then to the left” Jensen instructed since Jared had never been to Steve and Chris' B&B.

 

The ride was short and quiet and Jared regretted the fact that Jensen didn't turn on the radio to sing along, the sight of Jensen singing with the radio that day they went into town was still fresh in his mind and it was one of his favorite moments in the past few days.

 

When they pulled up at the B&B Jensen hurriedly got out of the car and was assaulted by a large German Sheppard “hey boy” Jensen muttered and scratched the enthusiastic animal behind it's ears “Jared, this is Tom's dog... Racket”.

 

Jared leaned down and scratched the animals head “hey there” he muttered and stroked the dogs fur “good boy... he's better around strangers than Ghost” Jared noted and Jensen nodded “Racket's been with Tom since he was a puppy... he's never had to deal with bad owners”.

 

The dog yipped and took off in a hurry all of a sudden and Jensen chuckled “crazy animal” he muttered before lifting the stereo from the car “lets get this to the barn” he said and Jared picked up the boxes holding the wires and such to follow Jensen.

 

A large barn stood behind the house and there were lanterns and lights decorating the beams of the structure “wow” Jared said as he saw the barn “this looks gorgeous” when they entered they saw that all the horses were gone, probably in one of the paddocks for the night and the barn had been swept and cleaned so it smelled like fresh hay.

 

“Do I smell Sherry's cake” Tom appeared right in front of them and Jared fought the urge to sneer at the man, irritated by how comfortable Jensen seemed with the other man and how at ease and friendly they treated each other.

 

He watched as Jensen followed Tom to the other end of the barn to put the stuff he was carrying on a large table, it irritated him that he didn't know what Jensen and Tom were to each other, friends or maybe more.

 

Every time he saw Jensen with the other man he felt a stab of jealousy go through him because he wanted to be the one to make Jensen smile and laugh like that.

 

Jared started when he felt a hand on his arm and he turned to look into the bright blue eyes of Steve, a soft smile on the other man's face “come help me for a sec, would ya?” the blonde asked.

 

He followed willingly and was led into a beautiful house, decorated in soft tones and comfortable looking furniture “you guys have a great place here” Jared commented as he looked around.

 

Steve smiled and nodded “we got lucky” he said “Chris and me sleep in the house and Tom's got the barn, leaving the rest of the rooms for guests.... at the moment two couples are staying here”.

 

All in all it seemed that Chris and Steve were doing good, not getting rich or anything but they made enough money from renting rooms to keep the place afloat and they were doing what the loved with the person they loved and to Jared that seemed like the best life one could possibly have.

 

“They're just friends” Steve's voice was loud in the silent room and Jared startled from the sound “huh?” he asked with an unintelligent look on his face and Steve chuckled “Tom and Jensen.... there's nothing more between them, just friendship” he clarified “I mean... they might have you know... once or twice but that was just because if you need it that bad it's still better to do with someone you really care about”.

 

Jared fixed his eyes on Steve “you mean Jensen and Tom.... fucked?” and that knowledge sent a hot flare of anger and fury through his veins “well, they don't do it anymore, I think but when Tom first came here... I guess a couple of times”.

 

Blue eyes fixed on Jared and narrowed “I'm not telling you this to hurt you, Jared” he said “it's clear as day that you love Jensen but you have to understand that seven years is a long time and Jensen moved on” a soft sigh “yeah, it was hard for him and it took a long time but you can't hold it against him.... you can't be angry at Jensen for sleeping with Tom”.

 

Jared shook his head “I'm not..” but Steve cut him off “so those looks you keep shooting at Tom and Jensen when they're together... that's not anger and jealousy?” and Jared blushed “look, I get that you left this place and went to see the world.... what I don't get is leaving Jensen like you did and no matter what you feel for him, you have no right to be angry or jealous”.

 

The younger man was about to protest but Steve stopped him “for a long time Jensen wasn't all that fun to be around but he's gotten to the point where he got over what happened and he picked his life back up... if that includes fucking Tom then that's fine by me, as it should be by you”.

 

Jared sighed “are they.... I mean, a couple or something?” he asked “no” Steve replied “they're just friends and that benefit thing was a long time ago so you have no reason to be jealous and if you want him back, like I think you do, then you should put your jealousy at Tom behind you and just focus on Jensen”.

 

Steve made a good point and Jared smiled at him “why are you helping me?” he asked and Steve shook his head “I'm not helping you” he said “I'm helping Jensen because I think that the two of you would be good together” Jared smiled but it fell when he felt Steve's hand close tightly around his bicep “but I warn you” as traces of friendliness and lightness gone from his voice “you hurt that man again and there will be no place you can hide from me.... let along Chris and Tom, understood?”.

 

Jared nodded quickly “look” he said as Steve went back to mixing dips for the chips “the last thing I want to do is hurt Jensen” he blushed “again... I know I hurt him when I left but I'm back now and I'm gonna make him see how much I love him, and that we're meant to be together”.

 

The other man turned around with a brilliant smile and nodded “I know you are” he said “but as one of his best friends it's kind of mandatory for me to give that speech.... and don't get me wrong, I mean every word, so you better fucking treat him right from now on”.

 

“Hey” Both men startled when Jensen bounded into the kitchen “Tom's got the system hooked up and it sounds great” Jensen stole a carrot and dipped it n one of the dips Steve had made before popping it in his mouth and chewing viciously “the barn looks amazing, by the way” he said while chewing “great job on that”.

 

Steve chuckled and handed Jensen a napkin “before you spit carrot all over my clean kitchen” he said and Jensen took the white piece of paper towel “and it's such a rare thing for Steve's kitchen to be clean” a female voice cut in and second later Danneel popped her head into the kitchen “hello boys” she smirked.

 

“Jenny!” She screeched and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and pecked him on the cheek “hmm, you look so hot today.... why the hell did you have to be gay, huh?” she asked and Jensen smirked before he stuffed a carrot in her mouth “because vaginas are icky” he joked.

 

Danneel snorted “excuse me” she said mock-indignantly “my vagina is not icky, I'll have you know I have an award winning vagina” and Jensen sputtered in laughter “really, what's it won 'most likely do grow cobwebs' huh” he teased and that earned him a smack upside the head “hey” she protested “I get laid”.

 

“Oh dear lord” both Jensen and Danneel flushed when Sherry walked into the kitchen carrying a large platter with assorted BBQ meat on it “sorry, momma” Jensen said and Danneel chuckled “sorry momma P”.

 

Sherry chuckled and pinched Jensen's cheek “be a good boy and help dad get all the drinks from the truck, would you... Jared, you too”.

 

Both men hurried out the door and Jared took a moment to take in Jensen's bright and smiling face before he was shaken from his reverie by his dad and his brother urging him to take the drinks into the kitchen to the fridge.

 

Slowly the guests started to trickle in, Sandy, Holly and Kristen came together and the two couples consisting of Jake and Doug and the other couple was Greg and Duncan, some other people from nearby ranches came too, the ones that were okay with the sexual orientation of the B&B's owners.

 

Jared was pleasantly surprised by the turn out, he didn't think that being gay would be so well accepted in this little town though he did notice that a lot of people were shunning him, but he guessed that it had more to do with what he did to Jensen then about the fact that he was gay because they interacted with Jensen plenty.

 

The worst was Sandy, she wouldn't even look at him and he couldn't blame her, the last few days had been a real eye opener for Jared, never in a million years would he have thought that him leaving would have such a deep impact on the people he grew up with.

 

He walked up to Sandy and tapped her on her shoulder “can we talk” she turned around and was about to send him away when she looked into his eyes and nodded softly “okay, follow me” she said and led him away from the party.

 

She took them to the living room of the house where it was dead quiet, not even the music from the party could be heard since the living room was at the front of the house “what do you want?” she asked, still cautious.

 

Jared sat down on the arm of one of the chairs and sighed “I just.... I mean” he didn't know what to say, didn't know how to explain how sorry he was, how much he regretted leaving the way he did, words got stuck in his throat.

 

There weren't words he knew to explain how he was feeling right now, how he could explain to her how he wished things had been different, that he had been different and made better choices, wished that he hadn't acted so selfishly and stupidly.

 

“Jared, what do you want?” She asked again and he lifted his head “I...” but words wouldn't form “I'm so sorry” he whispered desperately, tears shining “I'm so sorry and I don't know how to make it right”.

 

For a short moment she just stood there looking at him, her brown eyes hesitant and unsure of what to do but when she took in his teary eyes and slumped shoulders she couldn't help but reach out and wrap him in her arms “idiot” she whispered hoarsely, the tears clogging in her throat “you're such an idiot, Jared Padalecki”.

 

“I'm so sorry” He breathe in her hair and wrapped his arms around her slender waist “I'm an idiot” he agreed with her and she chuckled “yes you were” she said and pulled back to look into his eyes “but I hope you grew smarter over the years”.

 

He nodded his head “I did” he said “especially the last couple of days... and I'm not going anywhere” she smiled softly “you better not, there's someone here who needs you” she leaned in and softly kissed his lips.

 

Jared sighed and buried his nose in her hair “missed you” he muttered and they stood there for a long moment before Jared pulled away “have you told Jensen this?” Sandy asked and Jared shook his head.

 

She sighed and shook her head “Jared” she said “you need to tell him Jared, and I suggest you don't wait too long to do that.... he might just not be there when you get your shit together”.


	11. Chapter 11

  
Author's notes: enjoy :D, it's a little longer than normal, also a angst like whoa and.... read and find out  


* * *

Chapter 11:

 

 

Jensen yawned as he lazily stirred the fried eggs he was making, it was a Sunday, the one day in the week he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to so he slept in and was now making breakfast for himself.

 

The bacon was sizzling away in another pan while he added some salt to the eggs “hi, honey” Sherry barged into the kitchen, her hair in disarray, straws scattered in her long locks “by, honey” and she was gone again.

 

Jensen chuckled to himself and stirred the eggs again, he was wearing a pair of faded sweats and a tight shirt that was so worn it was soft as butter, his bare feet only protected by flip flops that had been a gag gift from Jeff.

 

He ate his breakfast standing at the counter and chugged a tall glass of milk back, wiping the white line above his lip with his hand and sighed contently before he turned on the water in the sink to wash the pans and dishes he'd used.

 

The water was warm and soapy when he stuck his hands in and he scrubbed the surface of the plate he'd used with a little sponge when all of a sudden he felt strong arms wrap around his waist “morning” Jared drawled.

 

Jensen was frozen in place, the familiar warmth of Jared against his back threw him off kilter like you wouldn't believe.

 

Jared's hands slipped under his shirt and rested on Jensen's stomach, the soft skin heating up under the touch “what..” but his words were cut off by a hushed 'shh' from Jared and Jensen stilled completely as Jared pulled him against his chest.

 

For a moment Jensen let himself lean back against Jared's wide chest, allowed himself to revel in the warmth and strength of the taller man and his head lolled back to rest against Jared's shoulder.

 

Jensen felt Jared's body tense up behind him for a second and then relax again when Jensen didn't make any move to step away.

 

Warm lips pressed against the silky skin behind Jensen's right ear while arms tightened around him, Jared softly kissed Jensen's lobe and then the sensitive skin behind his ear “you smell good” he muttered and breathed in the spicy warm scent of Jensen.

 

Jensen's body felt like it was on fire, his skin was burning and he felt his heart hammer in his chest, he hadn't felt this way in seven years, no other man had ever made him feel the way Jared did and his body sang when he felt those soft lips brush his neck.

 

“I want you back” Jared muttered “and I'm getting you back” Jensen tensed up, the words jarring him from his moment and he pushed Jared away “what?” he said angrily “you think you can just decide a thing like that”.

 

He pushed away from the counter and stepped around Jared “you don't just decide whether we’ll get back together or not Jared” Jensen said angrily “I hate to break it to you but the world doesn't revolve around you.... you don't get to make other peoples decisions”.

 

Jared shook his head “that's not what I'm trying to do” he said “I know that whether we get back together will be your decision” and he smiled softly “but I'm gonna do everything I can to make you want to be with me again”.

 

The shorter man huffed “you say that like it's already set in stone that I'll say yes” and Jared smirked “because you will” and Jensen scoffed at Jared's ego “I guess your hair is not the only thing that grew while you were away... your ego's a little out of proportions too”.

 

Jared stepped closer to Jensen and crowded him against the wall “you love my hair long” he stated “and you like my ego like this.... that's how I know”.

 

Jensen huffed again and pushed Jared off “leave me alone, Jared” he demanded “you and me are through... we have been for quite a while” but Jared disagreed “no, Jenny” he said, using the nickname he'd used so often when they were young “we've never been through” but Jensen had slipped through the door and was stalking over to the barn where Jared's mom told him he couldn't follow.

 

The younger man growled and slammed his hands against the wall in frustration “fuck” he grunted and cradled his hand against his chest “and that's why it's not nice to slap the wall”.

 

Jared spun around and smiled at Sandy “hey” he said and scowled at his aching hand “well, that's not my fault... but Jensen's” he said and followed her out to the porch “he's kind of frustrating... why did I not notice that before”.

 

She chuckled and shook her head “I kept telling you that, but you wouldn't listen” she said “you kept insisting that Jensen was wonderful and perfect and knew everything and was just awesome all around”.

 

He snorted “well I changed my mind” he said “the man is infuriating and frustrating and all kinds of -ating that I can't think of right now”.

 

Sandy touched his arm and demanded his attention “not to shoot you down even more” she said “but don't you think Jensen had the right to be like this... I mean, the guy gave you everything and you just...” she saw the hurt look on Jared's face “I'm sorry Jared, I know you don't want to hear this, but you did this and maybe Jensen just can't pretend it never happened”.

 

Jared frowned “you forgave me” he said and she smiled softly at him “we were friends, Jared... we weren't soul mates, we hadn't spent every waking moment with each other for the past decade ... you weren't the love of MY life”.

 

She was silent for a moment “maybe Jensen is afraid to let you in again” and she raised her hand when Jared wanted to interrupt “think about it, Jared” she said “he was so in love with you and then you left, I can understand why he doesn't want to let you in again”.

 

Jared frowned again and shook his head “I told him I'm not going anywhere” he said “I told him I want him back” and she sighed softly “how is he supposed to know if this time will be the time you'll stick around”.

 

Sandy looked around the yard for a moment “what is going to guarantee him that this time you won't just up and leave him when the mood strikes you, I can understand his fear, what if you get sick of farm life again, what will he be left with”.

 

Jared had to admit that it did make sense but he didn't want it to make sense, he knew he'd hurt Jensen and that he had some serious groveling to do, he just wanted them to get back together so he knew that Jensen would be his again and that he could grovel after they get back together.

 

“It's just so frustrating” Jared growled “all I can think about is kissing him and holding him and god, the lines around his eyes are driving me insane” he sighed frustrated “he's changed so much and everything for the better, he's so strong and self assured, he's smart and friendly... to anyone but me”.

 

Sandy giggled and scooted closer to him “and I see you're still as obsessed with him as you were when you were sixteen” she patted his arm “you do know he's just human, right... he's not perfect” and Jared snorted “please... look at him and tell me that you wouldn't hit that in a second if he were straight”.

 

She mulled over that for a moment and grinned “you're probably right... though I'd gag him because I find him annoying as fuck”.

 

Jared had never understood why Sandy and Jensen couldn't stand one another “why don't you like him?” Jared wanted to know “even when we were kids, you never got along” and Sandy blushed “oh, come on” she said “you had to have known I had the hugest crush on you when we were growing up and I hated the fact that all he had to do was sit there and look pretty and you'd be all over him while I had to kick and scream to get your attention”.

 

His eyes widened and she chuckled “don't worry sweetheart” she said “I've been over you for a long time” and she softly kissed his lips “I figured out a long time ago that my chances with you were like a snowballs chance in hell”.

 

Jared smiled softly and leaned in to kiss her lips “you know” he said when he pulled back and hugged her close “you're kind of an awesome fag hag” and she sputtered laughing and pushed him away “you are awful!” she exclaimed.

 

Neither were aware that two vivid green eyes were watching them, watering over the green eyes closed and the owner pulled back into the barn “when will I learn” Jensen muttered to himself.

 

There was a shuffling on the ground and Jensen looked down into the hellish blue eyes of Ghost “pretty words don't mean a thing, boy” Jensen said as he moved further back into the barn “remember that”.

 

Jensen kicked Devil's box open and grabbed a pitchfork “you'd think that after what happened seven years ago I'd get the point, but noo” he scolded himself and Devil shook his head “I know” Jensen said to the horse “a couple of pretty words and empty promises and I'm back all mooneyed”.

 

The horse whinnied and Jensen snorted “I guess you'd never fall for such shit... you're a horse, I can make you do anything I want and all I'd need is a carrot”.

 

Jensen looked at Ghost sitting in the opening of the box, the animals head tilted as if to say 'what the hell are you talking about' and Jensen chuckled “see... and now I'm spending my time talking to a dog and a horse” he sighed “god this sounds like a bad joke 'a man a dog and a horse walk into a bar'..”.

 

“And then what happens?” Jensen yelped as he was startled by Jeff's voice, the older man burst into laughter and Jensen snorted “idiot, that's what you are Morgan” he said and turned to continue to clean Devil's box.

 

Jeff chuckled and leaned against the wall of the barn “so, wanna tell me how that joke ends?” he asked and stepped hastily aside when Jensen threw the contents of a pitchfork in his direction “hey...” Jeff protested “I know you think I'm full of shit but there's no need to make me spell like it too”.

 

The older man watched as Jensen angrily cleaned the box, his movements clipped and short and he refused to look at Jeff “Hey” Jeff said and he stepped into the box to grab Jensen's arm “hey... stop for a second”.

 

Jensen stopped moving and let the pitchfork drop to the floor “wanna tell me what's got your panties in a bunch” Jeff tried for lighthearted “come on, man, before you seriously hurt someone with that thing” indicating the fork.

 

Green eyes shot up and Jensen sighed “nothing... it's just, Jared” and Jeff groaned “what else” he muttered “so, what did the little twerp do this time?” Jensen shook his head “he... not much, he just said he wanted to get back together with me”.

 

A slow smile spread across Jeff's face “so the moron does have a brain in that ridiculously large head of his. It's about time he got some sense in him, dumb little” Jensen stopped him “he kissed Sandy not twenty minutes later so I doubt he's serious about it”.

 

“That little fucker!” Jeff exclaimed “who's a little fucker?” the two men spun around to see Jared standing in the doorway and Jeff growled “you know, I don't know you but I'm getting sick of you already”.

 

Jared took a step back and held up his hands in defeat “hey man, I didn't do anything” he said but Jeff still advanced on him “why don't you just fuck the hell off to that fancy city and that fancy job of yours”.

 

Jensen stepped forward and caught Jeff's arm “who, Brutus” he joked and pulled the older man back “aren't there any fences that need mending?” Jensen hinted none too subtle.

 

Jeff snorted in Jared's direction “you better fucking behave yourself” he warned and stalked out of the barn, leaving the two men alone and Jared stepped closer to Jensen “what the hell got up his ass?” he asked.

 

“Why do you keep doing this, Jared” Jensen asked tiredly “do you think it's funny?” and Jared frowned “why do I do what?” he asked “Jen, I have no idea what you're talking about”.

 

Jensen huffed in annoyance “this whole game you’re playing” he said “telling me you want me back and then minutes later you're kissing Sandy... maybe now you know why I never liked her!” he exclaimed “you keep playing with me like I don't mean anything to you... I guess I should have caught onto that fact years ago, huh?”

 

“What the hell are you talking about” Jared wanted to know “You do mean something to me... you mean everything to me!” he exclaimed “how can you even think you don't?”

 

Jensen scoffed “you're fucking kidding me, right” his voice got louder and louder “you fucking left me... I gave you everything, I loved you... I fucking worshipped the ground you walked on and you left me here without a word, that doesn't sound like you'd do to someone you care about, does it”.

 

Jared blushed in shame and ducked his head “you want to know, Jared...do you want to know what that felt like” Jensen's face was twisted in pain and anger “I went to sleep that night with us being okay, with knowing you'd be there the next morning, hell.. We made plans to go to the movie”.

 

Jensen's voice was rough and pained “do you have any fucking idea what it felt like when I was standing on your mamma's porch wanting to know if my boyfriend was ready to go into town” a tear tracked down a freckled cheek “you want to know what I felt here” and he slammed his hand across his heart “when your mother told me that you'd gone to Yale!”.

 

His breathing was heavy and his chest was aching “what it felt like when... when” words were becoming more difficult to say “I had to hear from you mother... your mother! That my boyfriend left me without so much as a goodbye note, to go to Yale... no note, no calls nothing!”

 

Jensen was full out screaming now but he didn't care who heard him “I planned my entire life around you, I didn't even think about going away to college because it would mean I'd have to be apart from you for too long, I was saving for a car so I could visit you at UT, and what do you do?”.

 

Jared never thought it would hurt so much to hear Jensen say those words, he knew Jensen was hurt and angry but he'd never guessed that the other man felt like this and he never felt worse in his life.

 

“So yeah, Jared... how could I even think that you don't mean it when you say you want me back... taking in account how wonderful the last time ended” Jensen said exasperated.

 

“What the hell was I supposed to do!?” Jared yelled, getting angry now “my whole life was planned out for me from the get go, we'd get a house or whatever, work a farm and never get out of this shit hole of a town!”.

 

Jensen snorted “this shit hole is a million times better than those stinking cities” he claimed “I know!” Jared screamed “but I owed it to myself to find that out... I didn't want to spend the rest of my life stuck in this goddamn tired old town, the same roads, the same stores and the same tired old people, I was sick of it!”.

 

“You don't think I wanted that?” Jensen asked “I wanted to see the world, see how other people lived and travel but I waited... you wanna know why?!” Jensen's eyes caught Jared's “because I was waiting for you, for you to get done with school, so we could go together, because what the fuck would all those things mean if I didn't have you with me?”

 

Jensen snorted “I stayed in this ‘shithole’ of a town, I stayed with the same tired old roads and tired old people because ‘you’ were here” he gasped in a deep breath “because I would have gladly spent the rest of my life with you on a farm looking after stinking cows but I was a fucking fool and you played me good”.

 

Jared shook his head “I didn't play you!” he called back “I never played you, I loved you but I was trapped, I felt like I wasn't my own person and I needed to get the fuck out of there, what the hell was I supposed to do?!”.

 

The shorter man took a few steps closer to Jared “you were supposed to talk to me about it!” he said “you were supposed to discuss these things with me, tell me that you felt that way and that you needed to get out for a while”.

 

Jensen took a deep breath “what you were supposed to do, you little ignorant, moronic shithead! was ask me to come with you!”.

 

Both men stilled after that and Jensen took a few deep breaths to calm down and when he spoke his voice was broken, pained and desperate “you were supposed to ask me to come with you... and I would have, Jay... I would have” the use of the familiar nickname not lost on the other man.

 

Tears were tracking down Jensen's cheek “you were supposed to know that I'd follow you everywhere, Jay” his voice broke and he dropped his gaze to the ground “I would have” he whispered.

 

Jared was breathing hard and he felt his heart slamming against his ribs “I...” but words got stuck in his throat and he felt wet heat trail down his cheeks.

 

“And then you tell me you want me back” Jensen said, voice unbelieving “that you want me and that you're gonna do everything and that you're not going anywhere only to catch you kissing Sandy a couple minutes later”.

 

The disappointment and pain in Jensen's voice is more than Jared can stand and he wipes the tears from his face, only to have new ones track down and he stalked over to Jensen “that was nothing” he said “that wasn't a kiss”.

 

He grasped Jensen's face in his hands and tilted it up so he could look into those amazing green eyes, thumbs stroking Jensen's cheekbones and their bodies pressed together “this is a kiss” he growled and he lowered his mouth onto Jensen's.

 

Their lips connected and Jared felt a blast of heat and want and need course through his body, Jensen surged up into the kiss and breathed in deeply through his nose.

 

Jared's lips closed over Jensen's and his hands made sure the shorter man had nowhere else to go, he backed Jensen up until the other man was leaning against the wall and he slowly licked the line of Jensen's lips.

 

The shorter man made a needy sound and Jared felt like crying out in triumph and pure bliss when he felt that plush mouth open to allow him entrance, he wasted no time and slipped his tongue into Jensen's hot mouth.

 

Now it was Jared's turn to utter a small moan and he delved his tongue deeper into Jensen's mouth, reveling in the taste and feel of the other man so close, he licked and lapped at the inside of Jensen’s mouth and his tongue.

 

Time stood still as they kissed, Jared’s hands traveled down to the small of Jensen’s back and pressed the shorter man in even closer, both were breathing heavily through their noses because they were unwilling to stop the kiss.

 

Jared slipped his hand under Jensen’s shirt to palm the soft skin in the small of Jensen’s back while he sucked on a plush lip.

 

Jensen’s hands tangled in Jared’s hair and pulled his face forcefully closer, plus lips opened wider and Jensen sucked Jared’s tongue back into his mouth and Jared found out that Jensen had changed in even more ways.

 

The feel of the shorter man in his arms made him want to cry in relief and he dove in deep to taste as much of Jensen as he could, having spent years without tasting the other man he suddenly felt like he was dying of thirst and Jensen was wine. No better, Jensen was his momma’s homemade lemonade and Jared was dying for a drink.

 

A well timed yip from Banshee made Jared pull back and he silently cursed the dog for his awful sense of timing.

 

Jensen’s breath was coming fast and his chest was heaving, hands clutching at Jared’s arms and green eyed were wide with shock, fear and need “I love you” Jared whispered against Jensen’s parted lips “I love you so goddamn much and I want you… all of you, forever and beyond, trust me”.

 

The shorter man closed his eyes and when he opened them they were fearful and uncertain, all the need and lust gone and left was a scared boy who didn’t want to get hurt “I can’t” Jensen whispered hoarsely and stepped back from Jared “I can’t…. that’s, never in my whole life do I ever want to feel like I did back then” he shook his head “and being with you… Too late, Jared, you’re too late”.

 

Jensen slammed the door of Devil’s box closed and moved to the door of the barn “no” Jared exclaimed “no, you can’t just end it like this…. This is not how it’s going to be” and he stalked over to Jensen “you still love me, still want me… admit it”.

 

Green eyes locked with hazel and Jensen grabbed the back of Jared’s neck “thank you… for explaining to me” he said and drew Jared’s mouth down onto his for a soft kiss before pulling back and stepping back.

 

Jared’s eyes opened and he gazed fearfully at Jensen “why does it feel like a goodbye?” he asked and his heart broke at Jensen’s sad smile “because it is” Jensen replied “when a vase breaks in a thousand pieces there is nothing in the world that can fix it again, because some pieces are never found” and with that he left Jared alone in the barn.

 

The young man sank to the ground and buried his face in his hands with a frustrated cry, he sat there for moments that turned into minutes before he looked up and stared into the ice blue eyes of Banshee.

 

“Well that’s just not fucking acceptable” Jared told the dog “you mark my words, boy” and he got to his feet “I don’t care how fucking long I have to look but I’m superglue-ing this bitch back together… he’s mine” he brushed the hay from his pants and his hazel eyes were hard with determination “mine”.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

 

 

For the past few days Jensen had felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest, it was beating so fast.

 

Ever since that moment in the barn, the flying emotions, the screaming and yelling, the accusing and pleading had pulled a number on him, and then that kiss.

 

He knew Jared was a good kisser, hell he’d spent most of his youth kissing the other man and once upon a time he knew Jared’s mouth better than his own.

 

But remembering and actually reliving were two completely different things, having Jared’s lips back on his and those hands touching his body, he used to think that the first few days after Jared left had been the worst but it didn’t hold a candle compared to knowing what he’d been missing out on, what he could have had if things went different.

 

Jensen had spent years thinking, knowing, that it was his fault that Jared had left, his fault that Jared didn’t feel loved enough to stay with him, so the younger man just left.

 

Getting it all out in the open was like a breath of fresh air though, he hadn’t realized it but he’d been waiting for seven years to be able to tell Jared how he felt, how hurt he was and how miserable after Jared had left.

 

It didn’t feel good per se, you always heard about people feeling relieved after a big confession, feeling happy it was off their chest but Jensen didn’t feel happy.

 

He felt sad, insanely sad that this conversation had even have to take place, that the events in their youth had to result in such painful emotions neither of them were able to fix or forget.

 

Jensen had slowly but surely made his way to the small pond in the south paddock, he tied Devil to a tree and took off his boots and socks rolling up the legs of his pants and waded into the water.

 

The two dogs boisterously ran into the pond, splashing and barking as if it was heaven on earth and Jensen laughed at their antics, his toes burrowed into the wet sand and he enjoyed the feeling of it scraping roughly against the skin of his feet and ankles.

 

Water sloshed around his calves and he just wriggled his toes in the sand “and to think I believed Steve when he tried to tell me this pond didn’t have any water fairies”.

 

The voice startled Jensen and he nearly lost his balance when he whipped around to face Tom who was standing by the bank of the pond “fuck you, asshole” Jensen shot back, his lips curling up in a wide grin.

 

“I thought be both agreed we shouldn’t engage in any sexual activities with each other anymore” Tom joked and Jensen stuck out his tongue to the other man “you’re just pissy and bitter because you’re not hot enough to get another guy” Jensen commented teasingly.

 

Tom looked down at his body, the tall man was ripped and he knew it “yeah” he said sarcastically “that’s exactly the problem”.

 

Jensen laughed and slowly made his way back to dry land “what are you doing here?” he asked the dark haired man “aren’t you supposed to be working?”.

 

Tom chuckled and shook his head “everything at the B&B is done and I was bored shitless so I figured I’d ride over here and see if you guys needed a hand or something when I heard the barks and yips of the gruesome twosome and I figured that you wouldn’t stray far from their sides”.

 

He tossed a small towel that had been resting on a branch over to Jensen “so I guess the work on the farm is so tedious you figured to go for a little dip… all by yourself?” Tom asked.

 

Jensen shook his head “nah, man” he replied “I just needed some time alone, to think” a frown slipped on Tom’s face “You want me to leave” he asked all joking aside “I mean, I didn’t mean to interrupt”.

 

The shorter man smiled and grabbed Tom’s bicep “it’s cool man” he said “you know if there’s one person who never intrudes it’s you” and he patted the firm upper arm “my head’s just a bit scrambled, nothing serious”.

 

Tom followed Jensen over to a big trunk and they sat down “anything you want to talk about?” he asked “I mean, you know you can tell me anything, right… I’m the last person who’d judge you”.

 

The smile on Jensen’s face was grateful “I know, man” he said “it’s just… it’s about Jared and I don’t… I usually don’t talk to people about him, ‘cept for that one time with Jeff”.

 

A strong hand squeezed Jensen’s thigh “I know that talking about the love of your life with a guy you used to fuck on a regular basis might not be the most comfortable” a soft chuckle from Jensen “but you’re one of my best friends, Jen, and you have to know that you can tell me anything and I’ll listen for as long as you need to be heard”.

 

“Ok” Jensen conceded “Jared kissed me, three days ago in the barn we were arguing and screaming at each other and all of the sudden he’s kissing me and…” Jensen paused for a moment “I don’t know, in that moment I felt like those seven years never happened, it felt like we’d never been apart”.

 

Jensen snorted softly “he told me that he wants me back, that he’ll fight for it and he knows we belong together but” green eyes looked up at Tom “he left once, you know… who’s to say he’ll stick around this time?”.

 

Tom wrapped an arm around Jensen’s neck and pulled him in closer “there’s no guarantee that he’ll stick around this time” he said but there isn’t anything in life that’s guaranteed”.

 

“Except death” Jensen noted and Tom snorted “wow… look at you, Mr. Optimist” he deadpanned “really Jen this whole doom and gloom thing is really starting to get old”.

 

Jensen’s eyes widened at that insensitive comment “I beg your pardon” he said and stared up at Tom “you’re supposed to help me, you’re supposed to be on my side”.

 

The other man nodded “I am on your side” Tom said “and I’m helping you by telling you this, stop being a sad little excuse of a human and get out there, get back on that damn horse, so to speak and live, stop thinking about getting hurt”.

 

He tightened his hold on Jensen’s shoulder “getting hurt is a part of life, it’s proof that you are alive and you shouldn’t stop something that happened years ago stop you from being happy and if said something is what actually makes you happy then fucking go for it, stop thinking in terms of what if’s and start thinking what could be”.

 

Tom smiled softly “I can’t guarantee you that he’ll stay if you say yes, no-one can but what I can guarantee is that saying ‘no’ is a sure fire way of making him leave”.

 

Jensen looked up at his skeptically “he’ll still be here with his family” he said petulantly but Tom shook his head “don’t fool yourself Jensen” he said “you’re the only reason Jared hasn’t run back to the big city where he came from”.

 

The green eyed man snorted but Tom ignored it “look, I’m not really one to shove feathers up an ass’s ass but you have to admit, the boy’s made an effort” he spoke softly “he’s dumped his girlfriend, he’s staying here longer than he initially planned and he’s really making an effort to get you back”.

 

There was truth to the other man’s words, Jared had done nothing but treat Jensen like gold ever since they kissed, he made an effort to get to know his dogs and damn it if even Ghost was warming up to the younger man.

 

Jensen had always trusted his dogs when it came to judging a man’s character and it threw him a little that even the stubborn Ghost was taking to Jared, there had been no more growls or angry barks, even the suspicious looks had gone and now the dog was even willing to come within three feet of Jared.

 

Jared had made sure to give Jensen space though, he hadn’t come on to Jensen in any way, he was just there, waiting for Jensen to make the next more, the ball was in Jensen’s court right now.

 

“I really don’t feel like getting my heart stomped again” Jensen said.

 

Tom’s hand came up and buried itself in Jensen’s hair “Jen” he sighed and pressed the shorter man’s head into the crook of his neck and cradled it there “at some point, you’re gonna have to take a chance”.

 

There was the sound of hooves thundering on the ground and Jensen sat up straight just in time to see Jeff jump off of Winchester “boys” he greeted them “Mrs. P’s got lunch ready… let’s go”.

 

Jensen hurried to pull his boots back on and untied Devil from the tree “good, I’m fucking starving” he said and as if on cue his stomach growled hungrily making Jeff and Tom chuckle.

 

The tree men mounted their horses and set a quick pace back to the ranch, the air was warm but not stuffy today and Jensen thanked god because he hated humidity.

 

They could see the table set up from far away and all the people bustling around it to help Sherri set up for lunch, the tall silhouette of Jared impossible to miss amongst the rest of the people.

 

Jensen jumped off his horse and tied it to the beam while Jeff and Tom did the same “Thomas, honey” Sherri cooed when she saw the tall man “how lovely of you to join us”.

 

She and Tom had gotten along famously ever since Jensen introduced them, they both had a great investment is keeping Jensen happy and he was glad his friends and his second mom got on so well “I was hanging at the pond with Jensen and when Jeff told me you’d made lunch I couldn’t bear to say no, now could I” shooting Sherri his famous smile.

 

“Sit down, sweetheart” She said and placed a loaded plate in front of him when he sat down at the table “you’re a hardworking boy, you need to eat well”.

 

Gerry appeared next to his wife and smirked as he took place next to Tom “it’s a good thing I know you’re as gay as a Disney fairy tale, boy” he joked at Tom “or else I’d be jealous as hell right now” making Sherri giggle and she kissed her husband on his cheek.

 

Lunch went by pretty quickly and Jensen joked around with Jeff and Tom at the table while trying not to stare at Jared who was looking mighty good today, dressed in tight jeans and a tight fitting shirt.

 

After, Jensen helped Sherri with the dishes and clearing the tables while the men went back to their work on the farm.

 

“I love these big lunches” Sherri said “I just love having everyone around and talk and eat, it’s gonna be such a shame to not have Jared there tomorrow”.

 

Jensen stopped moving immediately and turned to her “why..” his voice was hoarse and rough and he didn’t know when that had happened “why won’t Jared be there tomorrow?” he asked trying to sound as if he could care less where Jared spent his lunch hours.

 

“Oh, he’s going back to the big city tonight” Sherri said offhandedly “he’s up stairs right now, packing, his flight leaves in a couple of hours”.

 

Jensen dropped the drying cloth “’scuse me, momma” he said “but I’ll be right back, gotta do something” and he hurried out the kitchen and bounded up the stairs taking two at a time.

 

He came to a halt in front of Jared’s door and pushed it open without knocking or asking permission for entrance to reveal Jared hunched over a small suitcase, throwing several items of clothing into the suitcase.

 

“What are you doing” Jared startled at the sound of Jensen’s voice and he turned with a smile “hey” he said and took a few steps closer to the other man “you look good today” and his hand landed on the curve of Jensen’s hip.

 

Jensen pulled back from Jared’s grip and glared at him “what the hell is that?” he asked indication the trunk on the bed and Jared smiled “that’s a suitcase” he said smartly and grinned at Jensen.

 

The older man shook his head in a mixture of anger and sadness “so I guess you changed your mind again?” he said and looked away from Jared “I don’t immediately jump back into bed with you so you pack up your shit and disappear once more”.

 

His green eyed focused on Jared once more, a sad look in them “tell me, Jared” he demanded “were you going to say goodbye this time?”.

 

Jared’s face went from confused to a smug smirk and he stepped even closer to Jensen’s warm body “why would you care” he asked teasingly and started backing Jensen up with the looming presence of his body.

 

“Would you miss me if I went away?” He asked “ask me to stay then” he challenged the other man.

 

The past few days he’d done nothing but try to impress Jensen, he’d tried to show the other man that he was serious and that he still loved him very much but Jensen had done his best to avoid him best he could.

 

“Cause if my memory serves me well I’ve been trying to get on your good side for a while but you keep snubbing me like I’m cow duck stuck to your boot” Jared joked and Jensen couldn’t help a small smile from showing on his face.

 

“You just smell a little bit better” Jensen joked back and his eyes widened when he realized he was joking with Jared.

 

“Only a little” Jared teased back and smirked when the tell tale thump indicated Jensen’s back had hit the wall “now you’ve hurt my feelings” he continued “I’m pretty sure I smell a whole lot better than cow dung”.

 

Jensen snorted “maybe you’re right, more like bullshit anyway” and he looked up at Jared “what, with telling me you want me back and then leaving again” green eyes were wide in a freckled face “you’re not really persistent are you?”.

 

Jared was loving this whole little display of jealousy and ownership “seems like you’d care if I left” he noted “but that can’t be right, I mean, I mean nothing to you… right” and he gazed expectantly at Jensen.

 

“Right” Jensen said “nothing at all… cow shit, that’s it” and Jared chuckled “such a poet” he teased and placed his hands on Jensen’s hips to ensure he stayed right there against the wall, right where Jared wanted him.

 

He searched those green eyes for a sign and smiled wickedly at the older man “tell me to stay” he demanded “if you think that we might have a second chance, that you might be ‘willing’ to give me a second chance, then tell me to stay”.

 

Jensen’s brow furrowed and he halfheartedly tried to struggle free of Jared’s grasp and suddenly stopped.

 

He didn’t want Jared to go, fuck, what the hell was he thinking, he had a second chance here, they had a second chance.

 

Jared had come back to him, come back and openly said that he wanted Jensen back and here he was doubting whether or not he should speak up because of what?, misguided pride or something, this was his chance and he was damn well going to take it.

 

“Stay” Jensen said loudly and looked up in Jared’s eyes “I want you to stay with me, I’m not saying we’ll… just… don’t go, stay and see what happens”.

 

The grin on Jared’s face nearly blinded him and the younger man moved closer and closer until his mouth was right beside Jensen’s ear “look at the suitcase” he instructed and confused Jensen slid his eyes over to the suitcase.

 

“Tell me what’s in it, what do you see?” Jared asked, his hot breath fanning across Jensen’s skin and green eyes inspected the content of the suitcase “is that…. Are those women’s shoes?” he asked and Jared belted out a laugh.

 

“Yes they are” Jared confirmed “and this is not my way of telling you I have a secret life as a drag queen… they belong to Genevieve”.

 

Jensen’s eyes narrowed but Jared licked the shell of his ear and a tremor shot through his body “you see when we first came here, half my suitcase was filled with her crap… she wants it back, so I’m taking it to her”.

 

Jensen snorted “there’s something called package express, you know” he said and Jared smiled “yeah well” he sighed dramatically “I figured since I have to go back to the city to quit my job and sign some forms for the sell of my house I figured I’d take the suitcase back to her, save me the fee and her the wait”.

 

He winked at Jensen “besides, this way I’m sure to get my suitcase back”.

 

But Jensen wasn’t listening to those last words “quit your job?” he asked and Jared nodded “selling your house?” and Jared nodded again “why?” he asked breathlessly.

 

Jared pulled back and brought his mouth so close to Jensen’s that they were breathing the same air, their bodies pressed together and Jensen could feel Jared’s fingers squeezing his hips “do you even need to ask why?” Jared asked in return.

 

Slowly but very surely a smile began to form on Jensen’s face and it kept getting bigger and bigger “yeah?” he asked and Jared smiled back.

 

Their mouths were so close that Jensen could feel Jared’s mouth pulling into a smile “are you sure?” he asked “won’t you miss the big city and the money the job brought?”.

 

Jared slipped a hand from Jensen’s waist to the small of his back and burrowed under the soft fabric of his shirt “I got some money saved so that won’t be a problem” he confessed “but to be perfectly honest, this right here…” and he squeezed Jensen’s hip for emphasis “this is why I’m staying”.

 

A hand came up and cupped the back of Jared’s neck “good answer” Jensen growled and pulled Jared’s mouth down to his in a hungry kiss.

 

The younger man groaned when he felt the soft plush lips connect to his own and he pressed himself up against Jensen’s body, reveling in the feel of Jensen and the heat of his body “you’re gonna have to go without me for a day” Jared muttered in between kisses “but I’ll be back the day after tomorrow”.

 

Jensen ignored the words and shut Jared up by slipping his hot tongue into Jared’s eager mouth, grunting and groaning while their tongues danced together and Jensen fisted his hand in Jared’s soft hair, using the grip to pull the younger man in as close as possible.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

 

 

“You know, I really like this whole new Jensen” Steve said as he placed a cold beer in front of Jensen “I mean, not that you were an asshole before but just since Jared decided to get his damn head out of his ass you've been a whole lot happier”.

 

Chris snorted, he was the only one who didn't agree with Jensen jumping back in with Jared the first chance he got “it's been two freaking days... let's wait and see if he's on the up and up and actually comes back to Texas, huh”.

 

From the moment they had met Jensen and Chris had been close and now Jensen was in the possible position of getting his heart broken again the older man couldn't help but want to protect Jensen from feeling like he did the first time when Jared decided to leave.

 

“Wow, Chris” Tom exclaimed “thank you for that optimistic opinion of yours” sarcasm dripping from his tongue “can't you just for once in your life give someone the benefit of the doubt”.

 

Jensen's eyes switched from one friend to the other “I really don't know why were having this conversation” he said “I mean, Jared texted me he was on the way to the airport to fly back to Texas... I really don't think he'd do that if he intended to bail again”.

 

Chris sighed “I just don't want you to jump into this with your heart on your sleeve only to have it ripped off and thrown back in your face again” his ice blue eyes gazing into Jensen's green ones “I mean, forgive me for bringing it up once more but he pulled a hit an' run before, remember?”.

 

Steve reached out and placed a calming hand on Chris' shoulder “ease up, babe” he soothed the other man “I know, Chris” Jensen said “and trust me, he's not off the hook yet but Tom and I talked about it and he gave me a different point of view”.

 

There was a snort and Chris turned his focus back to Tom “really... what the hell did you tell him to get back with the asshole?” he wanted to know.

 

Tom looked slightly agitated “you sound like I always give bad advise” he complained “I merely pointed out that yes, Jared has left before but Jensen still has feelings for him and Jared obviously still has feelings for Jen, they owe it to themselves to see what could be”.

 

The dark haired man paused for a moment “I think he should give them a second chance, because what if Jared is on the up and up and Jensen just lets him slip away again”.

 

There was another snort and Tom really felt like squeezing Chris' nose closed so he wouldn't be able to do that any more “reall, Tom?” he asked “that's really how you feel about this whole situation?”.

 

Tom nodded his head “Yeah, I do” he said “I think Jensen and Jared could be real good together if they'd just work things out”.

 

Chris' eyes studied Tom and he smirked “you know, that's very sound advise” he said and Tom scoffed “I know you'd... wait, what?” he was confused that Chris, who was normally the most stubborn person in the state was agreeing with him.

 

“You're agreeing with me?” He asked incredulous “like, completely see it my way” and he was more surprised when Chris nodded his head “yes, and I think it's such good advise that I'm gonna give it back to you”.

 

“Huh?, what the hell are you talking about” Tom asked, Steve and Jensen watching the exchange of words with amused interest.

 

“What I mean” Chris said and he grabbed the house phone “is that this damn thing has been ringing for weeks, a certain bald headed man we all know and try not to hate on the other end begging for us to let him speak with you”.

 

Tom adverted his eyes “that's completely different” he muttered but Chris wouldn't let go that easily “really, now” he said sarcastically “Jared left, so did Mike, Jared came back, Mike's calling you so much his phone bills have to be through the roof and they're both begging to be taken back”.

 

Chris ran a hand through his hair “I mean, least you could do is put the asshole out of his misery and just tell him you want nothing to do with him”.

 

Mike's been calling?” Jensen asked, interrupting Chris' little speech “why the hell didn't you tell me?” he asked slightly hurt as he turned Tom “you can't give me advise like that and not follow it up yourself”.

 

The dark haired man's look was slightly ashamed “well... I, it's just easier to give advise when you're not feeling the ramifications, you know”.

 

Jensen nodded his head “I understand” he said “I still agree with Chris though, I think you should hear Mike out, see what he has to say and then make a decision whether you want to let him back in your life or ban him for good”.

 

There was the sound of a car coming up the driveway and an angine turning off followed by a car door slamming closed “who the hell could that be?” Steve muttered as he got up to open the door for the new comer

 

“Hi guys” Four heads shooting up at the sound of the man's voice, Jared smiled at the four men while Steve slipped past him back into the living room “I was told that....” Jared paused as his eyes landed on Jensen and a bright smile lit up his face “hi”.

 

Jensen couldn't help but smile back at the sight of the other man's smile “hi” he said back and watched as Jared glanced across the room “can we... uhm, could I speak to you in private for a moment?” the younger man asked.

 

The green eyed man felt a stab of worry through his body but stood up none the less “sure” he replied and walked past Jared to lead him to the kitchen, where the others couldn't hear them.

 

“Everything okay?” Jensen asked “you haven't changed your mind about moving here, right?” a fearful tone to his voice but Jared just kept smiling “no” the younger man replied “no, I haven't changed my mind”.

 

Slowly he moved closer to Jensen and strong arms gently wrapped around Jensen's narrow waist “everything went perfect” Jared said “I quit my job, my house is on the market and everything else is taken care of”.

 

With every word Jared got a little closer to Jensen, his arms tightening around Jensen's waist and slowly Jensen's arms lifted to wrap around Jared's neck, fingers curling into the silk hair of the tall man “good” Jensen replied “then why the whole 'private' talk?”.

 

Jared grinned wickedly and slowly lowered his mouth down to Jensen's “because” Jared's breath ghosted across Jensen's lips and Jensen felt a tremor of desire shoot through his veins “because I really... and I mean really wanted to do this”.

 

Gently Jared pressed his lips to Jensen's, fingers curling in the fabric of Jensen's shirt to pull the shorter man closer “and I really didn't want to do this in front of an audience” the words were whispered against Jensen's lips and the shorter man sighed into the kiss that followed.

 

Jared's hands slipped underneath Jensen's shirt and his spread hands slid across the silky skin, arms wrapping tighter around Jensen and Jared dug his fingers into Jensen's side, his arms crossing behind Jensen's back so tight he held the other man.

 

His breathing was coming laboured and Jared's tight grip made it even more difficult to breathe properly but there was no way in hell that Jensen was asking Jared to loosen his grip, in turn he burrowed his fingers tightly into Jared's hair, anything to keep that wonderful mouth on his.

 

The tall man let out a helpless groan when Jensen parted his lips to allow Jared's questing tongue entrance, tho moment their slick tongues touched Jensen felt Jared starting to push him backwards, not stopping until Jensen's back hit the kitchen counter.

 

One of Jared's arms stayed wrapped around Jensen's waist but the other slipped from it's place and Jared pushed his hand underneath Jensen's shirt at the front, his greedy fingers splaying across firm stomach muscles, feeling them jump under his touch.

 

Their mouths played together, it was hungry and heated but still gentle and loving, Jared taking his time to learn each and every corve and crevice of Jensen's mouth once more, never wanting to forget the way the shorter man tasted ever again.

 

The edge of the counter was digging painfully into Jensen's back but he didn't care, Jared's hands were exploring his naked skin and Jared's tongue was teasing and playing with Jensen's own, the feeling heady and overwhelming.

 

When Jared slowly pulled back, his lips lingering on Jensen's for a few seconds, Jensen couldn't help but feel extremely disappointed.

 

After a few teasing kisses to Jensen's kiss bruised lips Jared pulled back further and smiled softly at the green eyed man “missed you” he whispered and Jensen scowled “you've only been gone for two days, Jared”.

 

The younger man shook his head and placed a line of soft kisses down Jensen's cheekbone “no” he replied “I've been gone for seven years” Jared's breath was hot against Jensen's cheek and he could feel the younger man's lips move as he talked “but I'm home now... I'm home now”.

 

Jensen felt a fluttering feeling deep in the pit of his stomach and he smiled against Jared's neck “yeah, you are” he whispered “and don't ever think about leaving again, because I will cuff your ass to the bed if you even try to leave again”.

 

The rumbling laughter from Jared sent shivers down Jensen's spine “baby” Jared mumbled “you can cuff me to the bed anytime you want”.

 

Jensen chuckled softly against Jared's warm skin and pressed a soft kiss to the younger man's neck “you do realise it's gonna take more that a promise and a couple of heated kisses for everything to be right between us again, right?”.

 

The tall man nodded his head, keeping his nose buried in Jensen's soft hair “I know” he said “but I swear to you.... Jensen, I swear I'm gonna make it up to you, I'm gonna show you that this time you can trust me, that I won't do something like that ever again” he took a deep breath “that I'm worthy of your love”.

 

One hand left Jared's hair and Jensen gently caressed Jared's cheek “I know” he said softly “I have every faith in you that it won't happen again, but Jared” and he looked into the other man's eyes “you don't have to be perfect... we can fight sometimes and not agree sometimes”.

 

Jensen smiled and cupped Jared's face “we aren't back to what we used to be, and we'll never get there completely, but I want you to know that I'm not looking for you to be perfect... sometimes we're gonna piss each other off and that can't be avoided”.

 

“Ever though you have some mending to do... don't change who you are just because you think I won't love you if you're opinion is different from mine” Jensen continued “just be yourself... that worked all those years ago, and I have a feeling it will still work”

 

Hazel eyes gazed down at Jensen and Jared slipped his hands back to the small of Jensen's back and pulled him in close “you” he whispered and pressed a soft kiss against Jensen's bruised lips “why are you so understanding, so forgiving?”.

 

Jensen thought about that for a moment “It's because something that Tom said” he replied and ignored the dark look crossing Jared's face “he said that I could spend the rest of my life thinking about what could have been or I could get my head out of my ass and fight for what I want... or something along those lines anyway”.

 

Jared chuckled “something along those lines, huh?” he teased and nuzzled the side of Jensen's neck “I think that Tom is a very smart man and I should definitely find a way to thank him”.

 

“How about this time you don't break his fucking heart... I think that would be sufficient thanks” The two ment turned towards the kitchen door and saw Tom leaning against the wall.

 

“I won't” Jared assured the other man “I won't... I'm not the boy I was seven years ago, I've grown up and in those seven years away I learned my lesson”.

 

Jared paused for a moment and thought about what to tell Jensen's friend “I know what I threw away, what I could have had if I stayed or handled things differently” he smiled self deprecatingly “I can never undo what I did, but I promise” he turned to Jensen because it was more important that Jensen heard the words “I promise I'll spent the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me”.

 

Tom looked at Jared as if to determine whether the younger man was speaking the truth or if he was feeding him a load of bull shit.

 

He liked what he saw, the way the younger man looked at Jensen, the way hands were possessively spread around Jensen's hips, what decided it for him was the way Jensen was looking at Jared, the utter love on the man's face, a little distrust still, but behind that a love so strong Jensen's eyes shone greener then they ever did.

 

“I'm gonna keep you to that” Tom promised “and you're not gonna like it when I find you not keeping that promise, you hear?”.

 

Jared nodded his head “I hear you” he acknowledged “but it won't be necessary” and he stroked Jensen's hipbone with his thumb.

 

“Good” Tom shot back “now... let's go back in there and have a beer” the tall man turned around and left for the living room where Chris and Steve were still waiting for them.

 

Jensen tilted his head up so he could look at Jared and smiled “well, that's as much as an acceptance as you're ever gonna get”.

 

Jared pulled a face and made Jensen chuckle softly “love that” Jared muttered and once more pressed his lips to Jensen's, the current of electricity running through his body instant “that little giggle a' yours”.

 

The older man snorted and flicked Jared's ear “screw you asshole” he retorted and squirmed out of Jared's grasp “I don't giggle... I chuckle, very manly and low”.

 

The tall man chuckled and teasingly chased after Jensen, grabby hands reaching for Jensen's waist and pulling him back to Jared's chest “oh no you don't” Jared laughed and buried his nose in the soft hair behind Jensen's ear “I need you to protect me from the big bad Chris... okay” he grinned “maybe not so big... but twice as bad”.

 

Jensen chuckled and pulled Jared with him into the living room “boys” Tom said as he handed both men a bottle of beer “have a seat, we were in the middle of Chris telling us all loving thoughts he has for the new neighbours”.


	14. Chapter 14

  
Author's notes: Ya’ll. I’m sososososo sorry for letting it go this far. I haven’t been updating at all since January I think. Thing is I’ve been busy with my Big Bang fic. It’s finished now and has the epic length of more than 100.000 words. This means I’ll be posting to my normal fics again. I’m really sorry for keeping you waiting this long, but I’m back.  


* * *

Chapter 14:

 

 

It was late and Jensen was still out in the barn. The Texas’ summer heat was sweltering even in the evening and he wiped the sweat from his brow, the day had been long and hard and he was ready to just take a shower and crash on his bed but it was not meant to be. He still had to finish feeding the horses for the night and making sure everything was safe and sound. Jensen loved the horses and the last thing he wanted was for something to happen to them.

 

Ghost was lying nearby, a bale of hay acting as his pillow. The dog was watching his owner and the two pointed ears moved around at the slightest sound. Ghost was a good watch dog. He’d been mistreated as a puppy and when Jensen got him the dog immediately bonded to him. The dog was so protective that sometimes Jensen had to rein him in but he liked the knowledge that someone was watching over him.

 

Banshee was following Jensen around the stable. Wherever Jensen went that’s where the young dog followed. A normal person would be driven insane by the constant shadow but Jensen knew the dog was just curious and bored.

 

Devil was the last horse he tended to. It was one of the benefits of being the horse of the one that had stable duty. Jensen always spend a little more time with Devil then the other horses and he always gave the horse an extra treat. “Now, you be quiet and go to sleep, you hear” Jensen teased the horse and pulled gently on one of the silky ears. “Don’t wanna hear no whinnying or anythin’… just blissful silence. Got it.”

 

The horse just looked at him as if he was insane and Jensen laughed. He wasn’t insane, he knew the horses couldn’t talk back. There just was something comforting about talking to animals. Besides the fact that they wouldn’t interrupt, they also don’t judge.

 

Jensen scratched Devil behind his ears one last time and walked out of the stable. A sharp whistle and the two dogs were at his side as he walked back to the main house. “Let’s see if momma has something to snack for us, shall we. Maybe she’s in a good mood and I’ll be able to bargain some treats from her.”

 

He stepped into the dark of the porch and suddenly he was slammed back against the wall. Large, warm hands rested on his hips and kept him under control when he tried to squirm out of the steel grasp.

 

“Easy, baby” Rough words fanned across Jensen’s face. “It’s just me. Saw you coming up to the house and figured I’d catch you before you went in and my momma stole all your attention” Jared leaned in and smiled against the soft skin of Jensen’s neck. “You smell good” To prove it he took a deep breath and nuzzled the side of Jensen’s face.

 

There was a low growling and Jensen looked to his left. Ice white teeth were clearly visible in the dark. Pointed ears focused on the two men and two piercing blue eyes watched every move.

 

“Down, boy” Jensen demanded softly. He knew the dog had just been startled by Jared’s appearance but he didn’t want the dog to make Jared let go of him. The feel of Jared’s hands on his body was amazing. He had always loved feeling Jared’s fingers dig into his skin.

 

“Mind your own business, Ghost” the words were spoken to the dog but Jared only had eyes for Jensen. “I promise not to hurt your boss. In fact, I intend to do a whole lot of not hurting to your boss. Maybe you should be a little more grateful that I make your boss feel so good.”

 

Jared slipped his hands under Jensen’s shirt and caressed the silky skin. Jensen’s skin was damp with sweat and Jared’s hands slid easily further up Jensen’s back. The older man groaned and wrapped his arms around Jared’s neck.

 

“If this is a greeting then be my guest. Just be sure to greet me like this always, because now I’m spoiled for life” And he pressed himself further up against Jared. The air between them crackled with electricity. Both men were completely focused on each other and didn’t hear the porch door open.

 

“Jensen is that… oh, pardon me boys, I didn’t know that you were out here too, Jared.” Sherri blushed and scampered back into the house as fast as she could.

 

Jared chuckled softly and burried his nose in the crook of Jensen’s neck. “I’m gonna go and check if she’s okay, see you tomorrow.”

 

The older man allowed Jared one last kiss and gathered up the dogs. “I’ll see you in the morning Jay. Goodnight.” The two black and white dogs following Jensen back out to the barn.

 

Jensen climbed the stairs up to the loft and both dogs hurried off to their large pillows. Soft sounds as the large animals fell down and shuffled around to get comfortable. He loved living here, this old loft that used to be meant for hay. Sherri had given the loft to him when he had refused to stay in Jared’s old room. She understood the memories and that Jensen rather be somewhere that didn’t remind him of Jared.

 

The loft had been perfect. It was quite large and thankfully didn’t smell a lot like hay after he and Sherri got done with it. It had taken quite some time to get all the hay into the newly made shed and then even more time to rid the loft of all the critters that had inhabited it. Sometimes Jensen thought he heard a mice or something but he knew that it could never get out of hand because Ghost and Banshee would intervene.

 

He pulled his shirt and pants off and threw them into the bin meant for dirty clothes. Thankfully he did have running water in the loft, Gerry and Jeff had helped him lay pipes up to the loft so he had a small washing bin. The water was ice cold but it was clean and the evening air was warm and thick on his skin. 

 

Jensen slipped into a pair of clean boxers and a shirt that was thin and soft from years of use. The two large doors of the loft were open. They used to be meant to throw the hay down but now he just used them as ‘windows’ that were only shut when it was raining hard or very windy. From that window he could oversee the entire property, the large house and the fields lying beyond the gates of the yard. The sounds of horses could be heard and the occasional cow in the silence of the night.

 

Suddenly the door to the main house opened and Jared walked out. Jensen’s breath halted for a moment, Jared was gorgeous and the moonlight only accentuated his beauty. He watched as Jared ran a hand through his unruly locks and then started making his way to the barn. The horses shuffled restlessly as Jared moved through the aisle and Jensen could hear the soft sound of Jared’s boots on the stairs.

 

“Hey.” Jensen turned around at Jared’s greeting and he took in the flustered young man, restless eyes moving through the loft.

 

“Are you okay?”It was such a harmless question but from the look of Jared’s face it could be a very dangerous one. “No, not really.” Jared moved through the loft and started paceing up and down. “See, my mom has this habit of grabbing the bulls by the horn, she also has no filter between her brain and mouth sometimes… especially concerning you. Which makes me wonder, how the hell does my own mother like you better than me?”

 

Jensen chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “What can I say, I’m just irresistible.” But he was curious what had gotten Jared in such a mood. “Wanna tell me what brought this on? What did your mom say that upset you so much?”

 

“It wasn’t really what she said… okay, yeah maybe it was but everything she said was true and it got me thinking and she said that I…. why are you with me?” The question came completely out of the blue and Jensen blinked. “I mean, why are you with me now… after all that I put you through and… I haven’t even told you that I’m sorry, how could you be with me?”

 

“Are you?” Jensen’s voice was steady and strong as he looked at Jared. “Sorry, I mean, are you?”

 

Hazel eyes focused on Jensen and Jared ran a hand through his hair. “Yes! Yes, I’m fucking sorry. I… leaving you, I just… I don’t know why I did it. I know that at that time it was so clear to me and I was so convinced I should but somewhere along the line I just forgot, forgot why you weren’t where I belonged.”

 

Jensen swallowed harshly, “Then why didn’t you come back? Why did it take so many years for you to show up here again… and with a girlfriend no less?”

 

“I was afraid and… so ashamed.” Jared sank down onto Jensen’s bed and buried his face in his hands. “I was so fucking ashamed of myself that I didn’t even dare to come back here because I knew that if I came back to Texas then you would be here and I just… I didn’t want to see that look of pain and disgust in your eyes.”

 

“I never planned to come back here but Genevieve wanted to meet my family, she wanted to see where I grew up. That first day when I walked out here and I saw you standing there laughing until you noticed me… that look on your face, for years that had been my greatest fear and it turned out that the live version was way worse than anything I could have conjured up in my mind.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “And then there was her and it just… and then I didn’t even tell you how fucking sorry I was for doing what I did and you still took me back, you just… Like nothing had happened, why?”

 

That was a question Jensen had been asking himself for the last couple of days, why had it been so easy for him to forget what Jared had done. He’d known the answer all along. “Because you’re Jared. Because even though you’re responsible for the worst days of my life, you’ve also been responsible for the best days in my life. Because before we dated we were best friends, because we ate mud together and when I fell of my horse for the first time and broke my wrist you sat with me for hours.”

 

Jared’s wide eyes looked up at Jensen who was standing right in front of him. “My mom’s afraid I’ll hurt you again, she gave me the whole ‘break his heart and I’ll break your neck’ speech.”

 

“Will you?” Jensen’s question was soft and Jared could hear the faint quiver in the older man’s voice. “No.” His reply was steady and sure. “No, never in my life, ever again.”

 

“I believe you.” Jensen’s hands gently cupped Jared’s face and he slowly straddled Jared’s lap. “But why?” Jared’s voice sounded broken but Jensen just smiled. “Because you’re you and I’m me. Because ‘me’ is stupid for letting you in again but not letting you in again would be even more foolish. I love you Jared and I’m not ashamed to say that in all the years of my life I’ve never been as in love with a man as I was... am, with you. What you did… it scared me, Jay but scars are maps of our past, not our future and I refuse to spend the rest of my life wishing what could have been. I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t give us another try.”

 

The younger man let out a harsh sob. He had no idea what he’d done in a previous life, or this one that warranted such an amazing person as Jensen in his life. He rested his forehead against Jensen, “Thanks.”

 

Jensen knew that maybe some people would think he acted too hasty, that he should make Jared work harder to be forgiven. He looked at it like this; if he were to continue to punish Jared for what he did all those years ago he would only succeed in punishing himself. He wanted to be with Jared, more than anything and if that meant forgiving Jared, than he could do that. “You’re welcome. But Jared… you screw this up again and I’ll sic the dogs on you. Got that.”

 

Hazel eyes, wet with tears blinked up at him. “Deal.” Jensen ran his thumbs along Jared’s cheekbones and smiled before he leaned down and pressed his lips to the younger man’s. For a moment it seemed as though Jared wasn’t going to kiss him back, still too upset but then those soft lips parted and sucked Jensen’s tongue in. 

 

Greedy hands slipped underneath Jared’s shirt and palmed the hot muscles of the younger man’s stomach. A yelp left Jensen’s mouth when he found himself flipped onto his back, the mattress soft against his back and Jared’s searing heat against his front. It was so familiar to have Jared on top of him like this and yet so different. Jared was bigger now, tall and wide, heavy muscles clinging to his bones and Jensen loved it. The solid feel of the other man on top of him, those large arms coming around his waist and pulling him in. 

 

“Love you. Love you so goddamn much, never gonna hurt you again, never gonna leave.” The words where whispered against Jensen’s ear as sharp teeth nibbled on his skin and a hot tongue laved the sting away. Soft lips found their way to Jensen’s mouth and Jared’s slick tongue pushed back in, claiming, demanding. Jensen could feel the tufts of air when Jared breathed hot against his shin, strong fingers digging into the flesh on his hips almost so tight it hurt and he never felt better.


	15. Chapter 15

  
Author's notes: I'm so so so so sorry for the long wait you guys but I hadto get my Big Bang fic out here first so that had priority. Now that's done and posted I can go back to writing my regular storie again. Here's the final chapter of TGHACB  


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Chapter 15: 

 

 

Jared's lips were scalding hot against his. The wet tongue in his mouth was doing wonderful tricks and Jensen couldn't stop a moan from escaping. 

 

It had been years since he had done this with Jared, months since he'd done this with anyone at all and it felt amazing. Jared still knew all the spots that got him hot and bothered in record time. Hands gripped his waist, fingers digging into his flesh. Jensen knew there would be bruises.

 

The large body of the other man pushed him back into the soft mattress. Jensen’s bare legs wrapped around Jared’s waist and pulled the younger man as close as he could. The feeling of Jared’s denim pants against his skin turned him on even more.

 

Jensen felt like his skin was on fire. Everywhere Jared’s hands roamed a trail of heat was left behind. Jensen moved his hands to the front of Jared’s shirt and ripped it down the middle, buttons popping off and the sound of fabric tearing filled the room.

 

Jared’s skin was tan and soft and Jensen’s fingers greedily skimmed across silky skin. It had been so long since he’d been able to touch Jared like this but it was like riding a bike, a very male and muscular bike. 

 

With the strength of his body he flipped them over again and he looked down at Jared triumphantly.

 

Large hands gripped his hips and Jared slowly bucked up into Jensen. “Oh, this’ll work just fine, darlin’” His voice was rough and filled with unadulterated lust. Jared’s fingertips dug into the soft flesh of Jensen’s hips and Jared growled when the older man ground his hips down into his.

 

Without warning Jensen got off of Jared, a smug smirk on his lips. A hand was pressed into Jared’s chest when the tall man made to get off the bed. “Down, boy.” Jensen teased and he slowly started to pull his shirt over his head.

 

Jared gasped at the muscles that were revealed. Years of hard work on the farm had transformed Jensen into a Greek god and Jared took advantage of the moment to drink in every single inch of newly exposed skin.

 

Ignoring Jensen’s previous order he got up out of the bed as soon as Jensen’s hands dropped to his boxers. 

 

“Hey,” Jensen protested, “I told you to stay on the bed.”

 

“Like hell I will.” Jared moved forward and stepped up close to Jensen. He could feel the heat radiating off of Jensen’s skin and he reached out for the shorter man.

 

Jensen came willingly when Jared clenched his fingers in the fabric of Jensen’s shorts to pull him in close. The moment their naked chests made contact they let out a gasp. The feel of naked skin against naked skin almost too much.

 

Jared’s hands slipped around Jensen’s waist and he shoved them down the back of Jensen’s shorts to grasp those firm globes in his hand. The skin was soft and smooth and Jared dug his fingers in as he pulled Jensen tight to his body. “You feel so fucking good, smell good too. Missed this, missed you. Jesus Jen… I was such a fucking moron.”

 

Jensen chuckled and tangled his fingers in Jared’s hair. “Just glad that you pulled your head outta your ass.”

 

From then it seemed like Jared couldn’t get Jensen out of his boxers fast enough. When he got the shorter man naked he forcefully pushed him back onto the bed so he could slip out of the rest of his own clothing.

 

Once naked he covered Jensen’s naked body with his, every inch of him. 

 

Eagerly Jensen spread his legs and he wrapped them around Jared’s waist. Their cocks were grinding together, slick and hot as Jared slowly undulated his hips. He could feel the trickle of Jensen’s precum on his lower abdomen and he growled needily.

 

Slowly Jared started his descend on Jensen’s body, covering him with wet kisses and nips. The freckles showing him the way down to Jensen’s leaking cock.

 

Jensen’s entire body was strung tighter than a bowstring and he arched up in surprise when he felt hot, wet lips close around the head of his cock. An eager tongue licked the precome from the tip of his dick and he buried his fingers in Jared’s hair, a silent sign of encouragement.

 

Hazel eyes were locked on Jensen as Jared slowly sunk his mouth down Jensen’s cock. His tongue licking and lapping at the hard flesh in his mouth. Jared’s large hand was kneading Jensen’s balls while the other pressed limber hips down onto the bed so Jensen had no control over how hard or fast Jared went.

 

The suction on Jensen’s cock nearly blinded him with pleasure. Jared’s hands and mouth were extremely talented and Jensen’s head thrashed about on the pillow. He didn’t know what to do with himself, he couldn’t move his hips. Moans floated from his mouth, he couldn’t stop them, not even sure if he wanted to.

 

“Jared,” Jensen’s voice was rough and a soft whine was evident as he tugged on Jared’s hair. “Jared, come on.”

 

Jensen’s pleas shot straight to Jared’s cock and with a loud ‘pop’ he pulled off Jensen’s dick. “Hmmm, what is it baby?” He crawled up Jensen’s body and sucked on a dusky nipple when he passed it on his way up.

 

The shorter man arched up into Jared’s mouth and let out a guttural moan. “Stop teasing, just fuck me.”

 

With a chuckle Jared reached his destination, Jensen’s plush lips and caught them in a fierce kiss. “Always the demanding one.” Jared licked into Jensen’s mouth while his fingers closed around the bottle of lube and condom Jensen handed to him.

 

“Shut up, bitch.” Jensen joked and took the condom back. He stuck the corner of the packet in his mouth and bit down on it tearing the packet in half. Jensen reached down and slowly rolled the condom down Jared’s straining erection.

 

The muscles in Jared’s arms started shaking when he felt those long fingers wrap around his cock, smoothing the latex down the hard shaft. 

 

Jensen smirked up at Jared when he saw the younger man’s eyes roll back in pleasure and he gave a few more strokes to Jared’s cock. 

 

The snap of the lube opening broke the silence and Jensen watched with barely contained impatience as Jared slicked three of his fingers with the clear gel.

 

When Jared’s slick fingers moved down Jensen’s eagerly and willingly spread his thighs to accommodate Jared’s hand. Fingers gently rubbing against the puckered skin of his hole and he canted his hips up. 

 

As one finger breached Jensen’s body he let out a loud moan, his eyes burning into Jared’s. “Look so good like this, Jen.” Jared’s voice was barely audible. “So fucking good, ale spread out and wanton.”

 

A second finger joined the first and then a third. Jared’s nimble fingers stretched and readied Jensen as best as he could, coaxing the tight muscle to loosen and let him in. slowly he crooked his fingers and Jensen nearly broke his spine arching off the bed with the sensations.

 

Jared felt the spongy bump under his fingers that explained Jensen’s reaction and he smiled. He started stroking and jabbing Jensen’s prostate causing the shorter man to make deep moans and harsh pants. He loved Jensen like this.

 

When Jared thought Jensen was stretched enough he gently pulled his fingers from the man’s stretched hole. 

 

Jensen moaned at the feeling of suddenly being so empty but was stopped short when Jared situated his legs in the crook of Jared’s arms. He could feel the heat of Jared’s cock at his entrance and could do nothing more than hold on for dear life as Jared slowly started pushing into his body.

 

“Oh my god.” Jensen lowered his legs and wrapped them around Jared’s slim waist the second the younger man bottomed out.

 

A chuckle escaped Jared’s lips and he pressed his face in the crook of Jensen’s neck. “You can call me Jared.” For a moment Jensen wanted to scold him for such a lame joke but before he could do anything Jared pulled out and slipped back in. After that not a lot of thinking was going on in Jensen’s mind besides the occasional ‘Oh god, Harder, give me more.’

 

“Gladly” When Jared said that Jensen realized that he wasn’t thinking the words so much as saying them out loud.

 

Jared picked up the pace with his thrusts and he pulled his head up so he could suck Jensen’s tongue into his mouth.

 

Jensen wasn’t having this display of dominance though and he flipped them over, just like the last time Jared landed on his back with Jensen on top of him.

 

The shorter man smirked and spread his fingers across Jared’s stomach. “My turn.”

 

Jensen slowly started to undulate his hips, rocking and swaying on top of Jared. He lifted up and allowed Jared to slip out of him and them guided Jared’s cock back in, sinking down until he could feel Jared’s balls against his ass.

 

Fingernails raked down Jared’s chest, nipples peaking up and Jared clasped his hands around Jensen’s hips to guide his motions.

 

The feeling of Jensen clenching around him was getting harder and harder to resist, he could feel his orgasm starting to build. He saw that Jensen had wrapped his fingers around his leaking cock and Jared swatted them away before replacing Jensen’s hand with his own.

 

Jensen arched back and came, hot and think on Jared’s hand and stomach.

 

Jared watched as Jensen’s muscles tightened and he shot his release across Jared’s hand. It was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen in his life. He stroked Jensen through his orgasm, gasping when the older man clenched his inner muscles around him.

 

When Jared’s orgasm ripped through him he called out Jensen’s name and filled the condom with his release, cursing the small piece of latex.

 

Jensen sagged forwards and fell down onto Jared’s still heaving chest. “Oh my god.” Once again Jared chuckled but he had no energy to get the teasing words out.

 

With some struggling they managed to get under the covers and Jared pulled Jensen in close, twining their legs and burying his face in the hollow of Jensen’s throat. “You smell so good.” Jared inhaled Jensen’s scent once more and sighed satisfied.

 

Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared and placed soft kisses on Jared’s forehead. “Hey,” Jared got Jensen’s attention, “Do you think we’re gonna be ok?”. 

 

The older man smiled and scooted down a bit so he could look Jared in the eyes. They had ways to go, not all past hurts had been mended and it would take a while before the fear of Jared leaving him would be gone. 

 

“Yeah,” Jensen said as he kissed Jared softly on the lips, “Yeah, I think we’ll be all right.”


End file.
